These days, every day is a gift….
but then again, it has always been that way!
The significance of being becomes more significant
the closer one gets to the horizon
Freedom becomes being able to get up every morning
have breakfast and enjoy the day
Rumblings of disease and discord are stealing our rainbows
along with the imaginary pot of gold!
The simple life we longed for is now a never ending experience
leaving us ready // itching to get out an about once more
Death has always been on the horizon for each of us
It is just a part of our life experience at any age
But, until that time let us enjoy the gift of life
For tomorrow things will change…
Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Inspiration bits for this poem came from a poem by Paul V. Cannon. You can read his poem here:
A poem by Christine Bolton… you can read her poem here:
My father-in-law. who had Alzheimer’s, was confined several years ago after his wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This all took place within a month and a half. Initially we took him to visit her in her care facility across the city; but. he forgot he saw her by the time he got back to his residence.
It was very difficult for him that first year and after she passed away. When we went to visit we found notes written on his dinner napkins asking where she was and why she did not come back. It was heartbreaking to read his pleas for answers. Although we explained everything to him it was not long till he again asked the same questions. The note writing stopped after about a year. He seemed to be resigned that he was there by himself and only asked about her on occasion. He was there for five years and died in 2018.
In the winter of life the fog sets in
obscuring the obvious and familiar
Leaving one to memories past;
today’s events already forgotten.
A perspective very different
from yours and mine;
Time stands still …
like looking in a mirror to the past;
Closing the windows of the present.
Anxieties not understood
plague the mind and thoughts.
Looking for a spouse long gone;
Expecting to see her any moment;
Wondering where she is
and when she will return.
Distraught to the point of resignation
the fog becomes more intense.
Time slows down as the hour glass trickles
until finally // the top glass is empty.
This beautifully haunting song by Kathy Mattea helps bring the sadness of this disease into perspective.
Age does disturbing things to some minds. Alzheimer’s disease leaves many feeling like their memories are only scattered pieces. Life no longer makes sense, as short-term memory disappears. Stress levels increase and shut down. Confinement can become necessary to protect the person from wandering off or putting themselves in harm’s way. Some still remember the distant past and days of childhood. Happy and traumatic events from the past get repeated over and over again. Questions to visitors are repeated over and over again as well. It is very sad to see a person deteriorate in this way.
Aging rusts the soul
Life scattered like lights and doors
Falling leaves hide rust
Photo: Marc Andrew
Fading Shades of Gray (a Hai bun)
Watching my father-in-law’s mind fade from shades of gray to black evoked a lot of emotion. It became noticeable to my wife and me when we visited her parents in 2009. Driving us across Edmonton to the Science Center, he got mixed up and forgot how to get there. Apparently this happened before, because Mother had written the directions for him on index cards. Later she told us that one day he came out to the parking deck, after volunteering at the hospital and could not find his car. She kept tabs on him until 2012 when she developed a brain tumor.
Giving up his keys and driving privileges it was very hard on him, but the hardest thing for him to understand was when they were in separate care facilities. He would ask about her over and over, and could not quite comprehend what was happening. After she died, he kept expecting her to return. He is now 90 and seems to have adjusted to his confinement, even telling friends who visit that they should try to get a room there as well. He tells them that they take good care of him there.
Winter brain cells fade
Short term mem’ry turns to black
“Helen, Where are you?”
Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Bjorn, at d’Verse~Poetry Pub asked us to write a Hai bun using the word gray. I chose to write on the graying effects of Alzheimer’s on the brain.
Visit us at: https://dversepoets.com/