The scan showed an inoperable brain tumor. She had been there for him all these years, and now when he needed her most, he would be left alone and on his own.
We knew he had early Alzheimer’s when the doctor took his keys and handed them to mother, saying, “He can no longer drive his car.” He was not happy with that decision, as you can imagine!
My wife flew to Edmonton two weeks ago, to be with them as they searched for care facilities for both parents. Now, I am flying through the cold December air to join them. There is so much to think about and so many difficult decisions to make. It all seems very overwhelming.
Droning in my ears, the engines of the Air Canada plane have a calming hypnotic effect, and ‘in the tender gray, I swim undisturbed.’
***
Today at d’Verse, Lisa gave us our Prosery prompt. We are to write a prose piece of flash fiction or personal narrative incorporating one line from the poem, In Sullivan County by Celia Dropkin. It cannot be more than 144 words. I chose to write about an experience we had back in December 2012 when Ruth found out that both of her parents needed institutional care. The line is in dark print.
Join us at: https://dversepoets.com
Photos: Dwight L. Roth
Christmas 2012
Dwight, wrote this with such tenderness. My heart goes out to Ruth and you for having gone through the experience of having to make difficult decisions.
LikeLike
Such a heartrending experience for families to go through.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oof. Yeah, it’s a tough time, seeing your parents age and getting involved with their big decisions. You wrote it well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your comment. It really is an emotional time for everyone!
LikeLiked by 1 person
WOW Dwight, your poem is so heartwarming, yet heart-wrenching. It reaches the depth of our spirit. I remember similar decisions we had to make for my mother almost 23 years ago. You feel like you are going through an out-of-body experience as your decision-making process is questioned from all angles. Thanks for sharing my friend. 🥰💖🤗
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, all this was happening when we first met at the arts center. Very difficult indeed. But you do what you have to do and move on through!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes my friend, you do. Imagine how much we all were going through at that time? My father just passed away three months before we began our open mic. I think poetry gave us a sense of healing that we all needed. 🥰💖🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I agree. My first poem was Black Holes in My Head.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whoa, I remember that one. Very poignant! My poem, The Mind Predator, in my book helped me with my feelings about my mom. It’s under TheraPoetry and I needed to pen those words to release my anger, confusion, and grief. Continue to forge ahead Dwight. So proud of you my friend. 😘💖🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
:>)
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️❤️❤️🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are most welcome, Dwight.
LikeLike
Poignant piece. Very hard choices, prayers for peace and guidance. 🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Tricia. This was a few years ago, but still very real.
LikeLiked by 1 person
💓
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sure it is overwhelming. Thinking of you all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It really was challenging at the time. Thank you VJ for your kind expression.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Welcome, Dwight.
LikeLiked by 1 person
heart wrenching and so relatable … have they both moved on?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, they have. Her mom passed away the next August and her dad lived five more years. He passed in 2018.
LikeLiked by 1 person
very hard on every one … but now they are at rest and it’s our turn next ..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hopefully not too soon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
there are no guarantees Dwight but I do believe you have a lot more creativity to go before you push up daisies 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Kate! I hope you are right.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is hard to know what to do in these situations. May you both be at peace with your decisions. Safe travels to both of you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Michele. This was a few years ago. We do what we have to do and hope it was for the best. I appreciate your kind words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome, Dwight. Yes, we do. 😌
LikeLiked by 1 person
You capture those moments we can’t accept right away and the way the gray just shelters us for a little bit from reality. Powerful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your comment. You are right. It does feel like you are in a gray cloud at times when you are in the middle of it all.
LikeLike
A difficult time for all though its in the past now. The doctor taking the keys away from him — wow! I can’t help but think that could have been handled a little less dramatically, a little more compassionately, given that was a loss of autonomy that he should have been allowed to gracefully surrender, dignity intact. As always, Dwight, your narrative style with attention to details is engrossing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Dora. The key change was at the doctor’s office. It may have been a little more graceful than the way I said it, But the reaction was not positive. I think that would be very hard to accept! I am glad you enjoyed my story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A heartbreaking and heartfelt story
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sadje!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome Dwight
LikeLike
Such a sad and heartbreaking story Dwight. I remember you sharing this before. I’m so sorry for your loss. It makes it so much harder because you loose them when they are still here. My aunt calls sometimes 5 times a day and she doesn’t know it’s me most of the time and thinks my uncle is having an affair when he died 4 years ago. Nice job on the prompt. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Cindy, for sharing your comments. It is so difficult to see this happen in those we love. Especially two at a time. So sad about your aunt.
LikeLike
Both sinking into the grey together. Hard times.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, they were. He died five years later.
LikeLike
Five years of it was obviously long enough for him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sad, but a blessing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is brilliant Dwight and heartbreakingly honest! My wife’s aunt had advanced dementia and it was hard to witness what it did to her. It’s a cruel disease! 🙁 Thinking of you; your wife and her parents.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much for your kind words, Ken. It is a very cruel disease. The limbo it creates is no fun to witness. This was a few years back.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A dark period
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes it was most difficult!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing this personal reflection. It must have been a very difficult time–especially having them so far away. It was difficult dealing with all the things with my mom and she was not far away. 💙
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was very stressful and you are right, the distance really made it more difficult. Thank you for you comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome, Dwight.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It seems difficult things pile on us. Terribly sorry about your struggle. All decisions made with a loving heart should not be regretted later on. Prayers for all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Susan. It is a challenge at the time. We did the best we could!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can imagine how stressful it would be to make those decisions. This is a tender sharing of events and the details gave a vivid picture. I especially love the way you incorporated the line at the end. They grey feels like a safe place to escape for awhile. It also made me curious – is your wife’s family from Canada?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Mish, for your kind words. It was a difficult few months and years. My wife’s family moved to Alberta when she was six years old. We met in College in VA. Edmonton is an interesting city.
LikeLike
Oh, I see, Dwight. 🙂 Edmonton is a busy one for sure. I’ve only been that far west once, as a child and barely remember. Hoping to explore that side of the country again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Canadian Rockies are well worth the trip!
LikeLike
An emotional narrative.
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
Much💜love
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Gillena!
LikeLike
*hug!* that’s really hard, Dwight
❤
David
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, David. Losing a parent is always difficult. Losing two even more so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That mood of traveling by yourself is something i do remember.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is different from going together that is for sure!
LikeLike
truly heart-felt piece, my thoughts are with you both ❤
LikeLike
💖 stay strong, Dwight!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jay! We did/are!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dwight, a poignant, and all too familiar story. My sister and I took responsibility for my mother in the last few years of her life when she had Alzheimer’s. I am sure you and your wife feel as my sister and I do. We do not regret doing anything possible to help. All the best! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Cheryl. It was ten years ago this week that I flew by myself to Edmonton to be with my wife and her parents. We do what we have to when things like this arise and make the choices we must make for the good of all. Thank you for sharing your story as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person