My father-in-law. who had Alzheimer’s, was confined several years ago after his wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This all took place within a month and a half. Initially we took him to visit her in her care facility across the city; but. he forgot he saw her by the time he got back to his residence.
It was very difficult for him that first year and after she passed away. When we went to visit we found notes written on his dinner napkins asking where she was and why she did not come back. It was heartbreaking to read his pleas for answers. Although we explained everything to him it was not long till he again asked the same questions. The note writing stopped after about a year. He seemed to be resigned that he was there by himself and only asked about her on occasion. He was there for five years and died in 2018.
In the winter of life the fog sets in
obscuring the obvious and familiar
Leaving one to memories past;
today’s events already forgotten.
A perspective very different
from yours and mine;
Time stands still …
like looking in a mirror to the past;
Closing the windows of the present.
Anxieties not understood
plague the mind and thoughts.
Looking for a spouse long gone;
Expecting to see her any moment;
Wondering where she is
and when she will return.
Distraught to the point of resignation
the fog becomes more intense.
Time slows down as the hour glass trickles
until finally // the top glass is empty.
This beautifully haunting song by Kathy Mattea helps bring the sadness of this disease into perspective.
Very touching
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Thank you so much!
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Quite insightful, Roth. My wife is in the mid stages of Alzheimer’s. Sometimes I have dread when I think about the think to come. So, I try to stay in the now.
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So sorry to hear that! One day at a time is all we have. We must make the most of each day. Thank you so much for your comment!
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👍👍
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That is right. We must make the best of the time we have.
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I clicked “like” just to let you know I’ve been here. I read your story. I loved your poem, but where’s the “sad” button when we need it? My sis has dementia/moving toward Alzheimer’s … my mom was in the early dementia stages when she died. My good friend here in Ennis is in full blown dementia, living in our local nursing home. This all hits home. My heart breaks!
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Thank you Jan. Yes, we do need a sad button. It is very emotional to watch friends and loved ones go through this time of their life. It always lies in the back of my mind that this also could be me! A scary thought for sure!
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Yes, Yes… I thank God daily for my physical, mental, and emotional health. Never take it for granted!!
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I would click the Sad button if it existed. This brings tears to my eyes.
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Thank you Peter. You are not the only one who mentioned the sad button. It is still a very emotional thing for me as well.
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Very accurately and movingly evoked. Many blessings in your sorrow
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Thank you. It is a very sad thing to watch and realize the anxiety one must go through when losing touch with reality.
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Sadly so very true.
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Alzheimer’s is horrible; for the person afflicted and also to family members. I’ve seen it in action too many times. I’m so sorry for the loss you and your wife have suffered. ❤
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Thank you. It is an experience one never forgets after going through it with a loved one.
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Ohhh this is just heartbreaking.
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Yes, it really is an emotional thing to experience! Thank you.
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet and commented:
Come enjoy Dwight’s moving post!!
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Heartbreaking
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Yes it really is! Thank you!
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It is very sad indeed. Its a horrific disease that robs you of precious memories with loved ones…i am sorry he had to go through that. xoxo
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Thank you so much for your kind words!
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