Unexpected

Lois's Sunflower

I painted this sunflower for our neighbor across the street a couple years ago. I was painting a different sunflower when Lois came by and said she wanted me to paint one just like it for her. It is a large 4′ x 4′ painting. She loved the colors and put it on an easel in her living room.

Sadly, we lost her to cancer a week ago. She was a beautiful person with a warm smile and welcoming spirit, just like the sunflower above. She will be missed.

Winter of life 

unexpected changes 

Seeds drop

Memories live on

Sunflowers bloom

Her spirit lives on

Painting: Dwight L. Roth

The Estuary of Life

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Even the river

flows across rocky rapids

crashes //churning white

thunders over rocky falls

Smooth flow continues

How many lifetimes

we have stayed in river’s flow

carrying life’s mud

eroding jagged edges

Then we drop it all

In the estuary of life

*

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Knowing Our Limitations

Jason at the Ocean 001

After reading the blogpost *“Existence of Sand”, I began thinking further on the subject from a little different perspective. These are my thoughts.

Knowing Our Limitations

Children build castles in the sand

Knowing they won’t last

Washed away in the high tide

Walls and moats and shells

do not stop the tide from wiping

the shore clean

And the next day

they do it all over again

Just like children we create our castles

full of detail and embellishments

Building walls around us

we seek protection

from fear, war, and destruction

We buy guns thinking they will protect us

Move into clustered communities

of people just like ourselves

Erecting monuments

we hope to be remembered

forever

But just like grains of sand

these too will go

The high tide hits us all in time

Wiping the slate clean

over and over

again and again

And someone else will build

their castle on our shore

***

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

*Check out this interesting post:

Existence of Sand – Kaushal Kishore (wordpress.com

Tadpoles or Frogs

My little green frog that lives under my deck seems to have laid her eggs in my rain barrel. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed tadpoles swimming when I opened the lid to get some water for my geraniums.

A day or two later I emptied most of the fifty gallons of water on my garden, leaving about a foot of water in the bottom. I could not imagine they would survive in the hot 94 F temps we were having at the time. When we got a light rain a few days later, there they were swimming around in the barrel. I decided to leave them there and watch them for a while.

Yesterday I noticed they were growing hind legs. I can’t imagine that they are still alive and thriving. So, what do I do now? Leave them there to mature or dump them on my garden? Not an easy question to answer.

Tiny tadpoles swim

Growing in my rain barrel

Frogs or tadpoles

***

Life’s unexpected challenge

Leaving choices to be made

**

Who should decide?

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Photos: Dwight L. Roth

Update: 7-9-2022

The tadpoles have been growing legs; first hind legs and then front ones. We had a couple of heavy thunderstorms this week. I thought I would scoop some of them out and put them in the ditch/stream which now has standing water in it. When I opened the lid, I was surprised to find only three of the thirty plus tadpoles still swimming there. Apparently, they all floated out the overflow notch I had cut in the top of the barrel.  Not sure how they survived, but they must have figured it was time to make their escape!

Only One Ticket to Ride

Like the Petals of a Rose (2)

Aging brings so much angst…

Knowing it would happen is no help

as the petals of life begin to fade.

I count… she loves me she loves me not

as our expectations rise and fall

like a Carrowinds coaster

with its ups and downs and loop-t-loops.

Knowing the ride is about over is no help.

Coasting into the exit I exhale

trying to maintain meaning and purpose

knowing I only get one ride.

As friends slowly exit ahead of me

I mourn their passing and grieve my losses.

Aging makes me question my existence,

my future, my truth, and my purpose.

Reality is harsh as challenges increase

Loneliness sets in as other coasters roll on by

filled with excitement and wonder.

I cheer them on with a sad heart…

Knowing they too will someday be here.

While the ride was exhilarating

it seems all too short.

Sadly, I only get one ticket to ride.

***

Painting: Dwight L. Roth

Goodby Dear Friend

Vera's Painting

Today my good friend Danny passed away. It was very sad to get the news. He is the same age as me but suffered from health issues that shortened his life. He had diabetes that was difficult to control. Several weeks ago, he had to have part of his lower leg amputated from lack of circulation. In addition to that he was blind.

Back in 2019 his wife asked if I would try to teach him some chords on the guitar, so I worked with him along with his neighbor David who wanted to learn as well. David picked up playing very quickly, but for Danny it was a little slower. I was able to teach him how to hold chord positions, but he never quite mastered changing from one chord to another. We decided to have him play the home chord while David and I played the changes. He did well on keeping rhythm with us, so we sang and played together twice a week for the year before Covid. He loved playing with us and looked forward to our weekly get togethers. He favorite song was one his father in Barbados loved, Just a Little Talk with Jesus! Since Covid we have not been able to play together as his health continued to decline.

Goodby my dear friend

May you sing with the angels

and talk with Jesus

Danny David and Dwight

Danny Dwight and David 2

Danny Dwight and David

Photos: Dwight L. Roth

Painting: Dwight L. Roth

Coming to Terms with My Life

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These five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Acceptance turns to nostalgia

as I turn 75 tomorrow

Another year added to a long

interesting life

There is a sense of grief at this age

looking back and looking forward

Grief for the loss of what once was

realizing change is inevitable

Watching the next generation

moving on without you

Knowing someday, they too

will look back wishing

they had asked more questions

of the living

The future is a bit unsettling as

control may be forfeited

to someone else’s care

I pray that will not happen

I have wrestled with God

Argued with him threatened him

and been angry with him

At this point in life I have made

my peace with God and eternity

Some things are better left unknown

The subtle losses seem to hurt the most

There is anger at the changes that

occur in our physical bodies

The ringing in the ears, the loss of hearing

All that extra weight that comes on slowly

The medical field has no sensitivity

to body shaming, calling me obese

How is that any different than saying

you’re fat

Yet I am thankful I can still function

slower and with less energy but still going

Joints and muscles ache more at this age

but still remain relatively strong

My life’s work has been traded for

a more sedentary style of living

I look back and dream of what once was

Knowing memories are all we have

I listen to the old songs and relish

the pleasure of visions they hold

But joy comes in the grandchildren

so full of life and possibilities

I pray that they will find the strength

to face the realities of a changing world

and still show love and compassion

for those around them

It has been a long life and this, a long poem

So I think it is best to stop here.

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Today at d’Verse, Lisa asked us to consider the five stages of grief and choose one to write our poem. Since tomorrow is my 75th birthday I chose to write about acceptance. I have kicked and screamed, so to speak, throughout my life. I still grumble and complain about the changes taking place, but for the most part I feel like I have made my peace with my life and am in a place of acceptance. Letting go is very difficult, but in reality we never really have control in this life.

Join us at: https://dversepoets.com

Hopscotch

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Our lives

Like chalk on the sidewalk

Defined by blocks of little lifetimes

Drawn at birth… continuing on

One hop at a time

Until we make it to the end

Or misstep and hop out early…

As the chalk defining our lifetime

Washes away

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Photos: Dwight L. Roth

Today De at d’Verse asked us to Chalk up a poem. We are to write a 44 word Quadrille using the word Chalk in any way we choose.

Join us at: https://dversepoets.com