Feeling Rejected

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On Good Friday Christians reflect on the death of Christ on the cross, and what his sacrifice means for us. The human side of Jesus suffered unspeakable physical pain. Some say that God will give you strength in your time of need. But it is my experience that when that time comes, it is very difficult to feel that presence. Even Jesus cried out on the cross, wondering why God had forsaken him in his darkest hour. Pain and rejection seem to be Siamese Twins! It is very hard to have your whole world collapse and not feel rejected. This is why it is so important to have persons who will walk with you and help you regain your perspective once more, understanding that God loves you even when you don’t feel it.

Dark night of the soul
Feelings rejection’s pain
Forsaken // alone
Stretched out on life’s cruel cross
Has God turned his face from us?
In His pain he cried
“My God, my God, why have
you forsaken me!?”
Feeling rejection’s pain
In that dark night of the soul

*****

Painting: Dwight L. Roth

Shame

Loras bracelet

“Metamorphosis doesn’t look the same for everyone. Don’t be afraid to share your story.”

We live in a time where Mental Health issues and PTSD  affect many in our society. Some things in life cannot be fixed by a pill, a doctor, or a will to change. In the past generation, sharing this kind of issue was a stigma and considered shameful by many. Our scars and differences are not something to be hidden or kept within ourselves. Sharing our story can be the first step in finding healing and wholeness again.  Our story is what makes us unique from everyone else. How good are you at listening to what others are going through?

“Shame happens

when we largely treat suffering

like a problem to fix

rather than a story to tell.”

Photo from: Lora Myers Roth

Used by permission

Quote came from an article in Christianity Today:

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/december-web-only/wakeupolive-heiligenthal-bethel-church-miracle-doesnt-come.html?share=&fbclid=IwAR3tKk4Mnz61_bKZX-iWhpBgXOSuBIalHIsmmN60A1RRmUotyGWSjaYIYHg

 

Scars

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Scars

“Forgive and forget…”

An unforgivable cliché

Scars climb into the coffin with us

Lying there, embedded into our souls

A lasting part of who we have become…

Some visible and obvious…

Others not so much so

Forgiveness does not erase scars

It only allows us to heal and go on

Giving us the strength to live above the pain.

Scars that do not heal bring death

Soul stirring pain so deep and so sharp

That we can bear it no more.

Go lightly on that soul

Who chooses his fate,

Unlike the rest of us who wait

For fate to come knocking .

Fear of making a choice keeps many

Dead while living …

Enduring, waiting, wondering

Bearing the scars alone

Wishing for the end

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Photo: Dwight l. Roth

Attics

attic

Why do we store away the traumatic events of our life? For some, they are just memories of past events. Others store their injuries and pain like treasures in the attic. They no longer have any useful purpose in life, but the lack of forgiveness keeps them alive and tender. It becomes our personal Pandora’s box that no one wants to open. We all know it will only be a review of past pain, that no one but a psychiatrist wants to hear. Time to clean out the attic and let go of things that continue to haunt us. Forgiveness doesn’t take away the memory or the hurt, but it takes away the necessity of reliving it over and over again.

Attics

Dwelling on collections of the past

Memories never moving for many years

Stuck, reliving events that won’t go away

Collecting dust of regrets

Stimulating coughs and sneezes

In anyone who dares stir

Attics for old treasures long remembered

For some, treasures of hurt and pain

Treasured to nurse pity and sorrow

Dusty old treasures of the mind

Blade twisting each time

Pandora’s box

Avoided by all

Only to be opened after death

Some better left for ashes

Alone

Back Alley in Philadelphia 001

One of the hardest questions to answer is why doesn’t God answer my prayer. In the middle of tragedy and loss we wonder why God allows this to happen. When it comes to broken relationships it is easy to feel isolated and alone, thinking no one understands. No one cares about my situation, not even God! But, we are not puppets. We are creatures of freewill and as a result God does not intervene in our choices. Pain and tragedy come and we all seem to go through our struggles. God is there. He still listens and hears our cries. But he does not take us out of troubles he helps us through. If we understand this we can move forward through the darkness to the light of his love.

 I Cry Alone

I cry alone I cry alone for no seems to care

So I cry alone

The depth of hurt I know the knife of pain

Cut deep into my soul when no answers came

I cry alone, I cry alone, for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

I cry but you’re not there I’m all alone

Helpless and empty the pain is always there

So I cry alone

I cry alone, I cry alone, for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

Lord are you really there you seem so far away

My life sits on the edge no one’s here for me

So I cry alone

I cry alone, I cry alone for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

For no one feels the pain    …of what I bear

 

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Back Alley in Philadelphia 001

Photo: Dwight L. Roth