Wife’s Lament

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I was feeling a little silly today, so after working hard to get up out of my recliner, I decided to channel it into this old kiddie’s song.  You can sing along if you like!!

Oh dear, what can the matter be
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Oh dear, what can the matter be
You’ve been sitting too long in your chair

You promised to help me clean up the dishes
You promised to help me clean up the dishes
You promised to help me clean up the dishes
But you’ve been sitting too long in your chair

Oh dear, what can the matter be
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Oh dear, what can the matter be
You’ve been sitting too long in your chair

You promised to run the big vacuum cleaner
You promised to run the big vacuum cleaner
You promised to run the big vacuum cleaner
But you’ve been sitting too long in the chair

Oh dear, what can the matter be
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Oh dear, what can the matter be
You’ve been sitting too long in your chair

You promised to take me Belk’s to go shopping
You promised to take me Belk’s to go shopping
You promised to take me Belk’s to go shopping
To buy me a pair of new shoes
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Your butt’s been too long in your chair

A rewrite of the old Kiddie’s Song – Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be

If your in a silly mood you can add a few verses of your own!

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Flat Earth!

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I was listening to an interview on NPR with astronaut Scott Kelly about his experiences in the International Space Station. In the course of the interview he made the comment that some people still don’t believe man has gone into space. He said some people had picketed his house with signs that said, The Earth is Flat! I thought how silly this is to be so out of sync with what is going on in the world. It was so silly I decided to write a heretical poem to illustrate! I hope is makes you smile.

Flat Earth

What if the Earth was flat

Imagine that

There are some who still believe

Wondering if at some point

They might wander too far into the breeze

And sailing on suddenly drop off the edge

Into the abyss of lost souls’ deep wedge

The Earth is flat… if I can imagine that

All could believe and God might be a cat

Prowling the land whiskers in hand

Flicking his tail making demands

And for amusement entertainment for most

Perched on the edge and as people get close

Taking his paw flicking them over

They’re toast

Thinking how silly for people to believe

One might wander this far in the breeze

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Poem: Dwight L. Roth