Today I worked on a lawnmower that would not run for a neighbor in our development. Some of you will recognize this as the carburetor bowl. As you can see it has dirt and sediments is mixed in with the gas. When the gas gets sucked through the carburetor to the cylinder those sediments clog up the jets and keep the gas from flowing, stalling out engine. Once the carburetor was cleaned and the gas tank drained, I added new gas and the engine started right up.
Someone asked me this week what I meant when I said I needed to feel connected. I am not sure I gave a very good answer at the time, so I went to the dictionary and looked up definitions of three related words connection, acknowledge, and valued. These three seems to go together when it comes to understanding connection.
1. Connected is to be brought together or into contact so that a real or notional link is established.
Connection is a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else.
2. Acknowledge is to be recognized as being good or important: accepted as valid or legitimate.
3. Valued is to be considered to be important or beneficial: cherished as a valued friend.
The best example of all three shows up in our blogging community. We connect with each other. sharing our poetry, ideas, and opinions. We put it out there for the world to see and respond to. In doing so we hope to be acknowledged with likes and sometimes comments. In return we respond, building connection that is very meaningful. It is in this way that we realize the significance of our connection. We feel valued, and in some cases become cherished friends with people from all over the world and look forward to our ongoing connection. On the other hand, when there is an attempt at connection with no reciprocating response, the feeling of being valid or legitimate in their eyes is missing and the connection is lost.
Acknowledged and valued
Thank you, my friends, for being there and sharing your thoughts and life with me!
Today I talked with my neighbor who has been having ongoing relationship problems in his marriage. He decided it was time form him to leave the relationship and move out. It is very sad to see this taking place. It happens so often it seems. If you are in a situation like this, make the effort to go to a good family counselor for help before calling it quits. It may take some time, but it can save your relationship, if both of you are willing to work on resolution. I know this from experience.
Last week I finally picked up this mess of string that had gotten extremely tangled. I thought I would begin rolling it onto a stick so I could use it in the future. I found the end and began to roll, but the harder I pulled the more knotted up it became. I tried weaving the stick through the loops, but it soon was tight again. Finally I picked up the loose ends and began to shake them in my hand. As I did, the end loosened up and I kept winding. It took awhile, but in the end I was able to shake this knotted mess loose and get it totally rewound onto the stick.
There are a number of analogies one could take from this, but I thought how much this is like our relationships. The harder we pull against each other the tighter the situation becomes. If we could just hang loose and let things shake themselves out, life would be a lot better for everyone. In a marriage there will always be knots somewhere down the line. If we could just hang loose and not take things so personally, perhaps we could find a way to untangle those knots. I realize some situations may require cutting the cord, but for most there is hope if both are willing to work at it.
Our disposable society has a lot of downside and excess baggage that comes with it. I believe we lose so much these days because we are too quick to discard what we once held dear. Whether it be friends or family or spouse, everything these days is dispensable. Commitment and vows seem to be archaic confinements in this generation. We seem to forget that in relationships we will have differences; things that may hurt deeply, but forgiveness is always a part of life. Without forgiveness, we will go on repeating our same mistakes and adding more and more baggage to our life’s load.
Yesterday was our fiftieth wedding anniversary. Our whole family came home to celebrate with us. It was a wonderful day together. I received this tile from my wife for our twenty-fifth anniversary. This year I wrapped it up and gave it back to her. A reminder of the fifty years we have spent together. Like our relationship, it has been cracked, but not broken. Now it is cemented together and stronger than ever
Happy Anniversary, my love…
Fifty years have flown by;
Through the years one thing remains; our vow of commitment to stay together for better and for worse.
We enjoyed many great years together with our family and our church. Our faith brought us through the Valley of the Shadow of death and out the other side.
We love our wonderful children and grandchildren. We pray that each one will use the values and principals we have taught them to find their own way.
I love you as much today as I did when we said our vows fifty years ago. Our love has grown and changed over the years, but I believe the love that brought us together was God ordained and he has seen us through.
Happy Anniversary my dear…
I love you with all my heart. I look forward to our next 50 years together.
December 27, 1969 – 2019
The meaning of life lies not in the things we have
Nor what we may have accomplished;
But rather, in the life we are living each day.
Friends who care and share themselves with us
Make life a joy knowing they are there.
When we see the laughter in our children’s eyes
Feeling their love and enjoying their hugs.
The joy of sun on our face, the wind in our hair;
Mud squishing between our toes;
Listening to the birds singing their songs;
The chirp of the wren, the cooing of the doves,
Lovingly protecting one another…
Reminding us the touch of a hand and a loving voice
Bring meaning each day to our fast paced life.
Finding meaning in life lies not in the things we have;
But in those we love and those we serve.
The rest is just icing on the cake.