Where are You?

“Helen, where are you! When are you coming home. I miss you, please…let me know when you return. I will be down in Bruce’s room watching Wheel of Fortune.”

Paul wrote these notes carefully and neatly on the back of the napkin he brought back from the dinning room. His mind smoky, his focus clouded, he thought to himself, “Reading what I have just written, I now believe she may be gone for good.” His mind soon clouded again as he leaned back in his recliner.

In the time since he moved into his new apartment, he had not seen his wife Helen. He could not imagine where she might be. She might come through the door at any time. Day after day he waited and wondered. He left notes for her, in case she returned, while he was out, but to no avail.

*****************

Today at d’verse, Lillian is guiding our Prosery. Prosery is where we take a given line from a poem and incorporate that line into a prose piece of only 144 words. Today she asked us to include the line: “Reading what I have just written, I now believe” taken from Louise Gluck’s Faithful and Virtuous Night and her poem Afterwards.

I decided to write my piece about the emotions and feelings of one with Alzheimer’s disease. Eight years ago my father-in-law had to be confined to a care facility in the weeks following Christmas. Although he seemed to adjust well to his new environment, not being with his wife was very traumatic for him. This is a glimpse of that time. Although we took him to see her, he did not remember after he was back at his residence.

Join us at: https://dversepoets.com

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Lost (Flash Fiction)

Lost
Dwight L. Roth

I was lost…totally lost in the pitch-black darkness. I climbed this ridge several times in the daylight, following the winding trail all the way to the top where we had set up camp. Now I was stumbling; tripping over rocks and branches as I wander off the trail. Why did I forget to bring my flashlight?
Talk of a mountain lion in the daylight brought no fear, but now, in the pitch dark, the reality presented itself with every distant rustle of the leaves and breaking of a branch. I pressed on climbing upward, feeling my way through the saplings, mountain laurel, and dead tree limbs. “The top can’t be too much farther.”
Suddenly. there is that unmistakable wine of a big cat; off in the distance, yet too close for comfort. Chills run up my spine, when far away an interrupted cry… silence!

***********

Bjorn at d’Verse introduced us to our new form to work with…Flash Fiction. He asked that it not be more than 144 words. It could be exactly 144 words as well. Mine is 144 words. We must use the given line from a poem somewhere in the story. Today it was “when far away an interrupted cry…”

Join us at: https://dversepoets.com

Losing Touch…

This incident happened  several years ago when we were shopping at our Walmart. It is sad to see anyone loose touch with reality. But when you see someone in public who appears to be lost and disoriented, it is very sad.  I wrote this poem after seeing a man like this as we were checking out. It was a very emotional experience to see this.

Losing Touch …The Point of No Return

He was wondering across the checkout lanes
At the local Super Wal-Mart
With a look of concern on his face
As he looked across the carts

He was unaware of his condition.
His pants were soaked and soiled
His only concern was to find his wife…
And surely she would come through soon

As I watched him move from lane to lane
My heart went out to this man
Who seemed not to know the state he was in
But had only one plan

I asked him if I could be of help
He said he didn’t think so
She would be coming through very soon.
And he wandered on down the row

I went to find a manager
Who could help him find his wife
But when we returned he had vanished
He was nowhere in sight

I still think about the old man not much older than myself
And wonder if he found her
And what it must be like
Not to know who you are

I cried many tears as I recalled
The empty look, the lack of concern
Unaware of the condition he was in
And for the mind that had grown dim

I wonder if I too will reach
That point of no return
The place where my only concern will be
Just to find the one I love

*************************

Photo from Edge Images: cbsnews .com

All Alone

Many years ago I went through a very difficult time in my life. Everything was turned upside down and I did not know which way to turn. Nothing helped. It was during this time that I felt like Job…lost and alone. So, like Job I questioned God. asking why I did not find help in my time of need. I, unlike Job, did not get a scathing reply, but in time things did level out and life was as good as it ever was before.

WHERE WERE YOU GOD?
WHERE WERE YOU GOD // WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST
WHEN MY LIFE COLLAPSED AND MY LIFE TURNED BLACK?

GOD // WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I EXPECTED THAT YOU CARED
WHEN I BELIEVED // I TRUSTED // AND THOUGHT YOU HEARD?

WHERE WAS THE PROMISED PEACE OF MIND…
THAT THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES I DID NOT FIND?

WHEN I WALKED THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH
I FEARED EVERY EVIL // I FELT ALL THE PAIN

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I CRIED OUT IN PAIN
WHEN I PLEADED // I BEGGED // AND CALLED YOUR NAME?

WHEN I HURT SO BAD I WISHED I COULD DIE,
WERE YOU THERE TO SEE // DID YOU HEAR MY CRY?

I COULD NOT TELL // I FELT LEFT TO FATE…
WITH NO WAY TO HELP // BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE

WOULD ALL THAT HAPPENED, HAVE HAPPENED ANYWAY
OR WERE YOU THERE // WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WHERE WERE YOU GOD, WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST?

~1995~

**************************************************

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Frank, at d’Verse asked us to write a poem about frustration, disappointment or heartbreak.   Come join in with all the fun.

https://dversepoets.com

Lost

What happens when things grow foggy and you no longer know who you are? A few years ago we were in Wal-Mart when I noticed a man who seemed lost and confused. Not only that, but he was obviously not in control of himself. He kept wandering back and forth through the lines. It was so very sad to see this man who was so out of touch with reality. This is my account of that incident.

Losing Touch …The Point of No Return

He was wondering across the checkout lanes
At the local Super Walmart
With a look of concern on his face
As he looked across the carts

He was unaware of his condition.
His pants were soaked and soiled
His only concern was to find his wife…
And surely she would come through soon

As I watched him move from lane to lane
My heart went out to this man
Who seemed not to know the state he was in
But had only one plan

I asked him if I could be of help
He said he didn’t think so
She would be coming through very soon.
And he wandered on down the row

I went to find a manager
Who could help him find his wife
But when we returned he had vanished
He was nowhere in sight

I still think about the old man not much older than myself
And wonder if he found her
And what it must be like
Not to know who you are

I cried many tears as I recalled
The empty look, the lack of concern
Unaware of the condition he was in
And for the mind that had grown dim

I wonder if I too will reach
That point of no return
The place where my only concern will be
Just to find the one I love

******************************

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Wandering/Wondering

Three Day Quote Challenge  –  Day #3

“Not all those who wander/ (wonder) are lost.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Read more quotes from J.R.R. Tolkien

***************************************************************************

I would like to thank Kiniwana for nominating me for the Three Day Quote Challenge.

https://ramblingsofawriter2016.com/

Today I am nominating:

https://myzingylife.com/

https://gingsblog.wordpress.com/

https://helenevaillant.com/

Rules:  (should you choose to accept this challenge)

Thanks the person who nominated you.

Post a quote every day for three consecutive days

Nominate three others each day

Did You Hear Me, God?

Did you ever wonder why God did not answer your prayer? I believe everyone goes through those times of questioning. This is especially true when the circumstances are so bad that there appears to be no hope. Many years ago I went through a similar situation. I was depressed and despondent an did not know what the future held. As the poem says I reached out to God and could not feel his presence at all. With the help of supportive brothers and sisters, I finally came through and again renewed my faith and trust, believing that God really does love and care for me.

Where Were You God?

Where were you God // when I needed you most
When my life collapsed and I felt my worst?

God, where were you when I believed you cared…
When I trusted you to direct my path?
Where was the promised peace of mind…
That through this difficult time I did not find?

When I walked through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I feared every evil // I felt all the pain.
Where were you when I cried out in vain…
When I pleaded // I begged // I called out your name?

When I hurt so bad I wished I could die,
Were you there to see // did you hear my cry?
I could not tell // I did not know why.

I felt alone // left to fate
No way to help, before it was too late

Would all that happened have happened anyway…
Or were you there, what do you say?
Where were you God,
When I needed you most?

*************************************************

Photo: Dwight L. Roth  –  my mothers funeral… unrelated to the poem.

Pitch Black

One evening when activities were over it was time to climb back up the ridge to our campsite. I realized I did not have my flashlight. A winding trail led up to the top of the ridge. It was so familiar that I thought I could easily climb it even in the dark. I started off well, but as I got into the trees everything turned pitch black. After stumbling in the dark for some time I finally reached the top of the ridge. I found that walking in darkness is no way to go.

Pitch Black

I thought I knew my way

Followed that trail easily

In the light of day

Could maneuver it with my eyes shut

Now in the dark of night

Only islands of flickering light

Fade in the distance

Where I must go is pitch black

There is no light t’was left behind

A winding dark trail in my mind

Only a blind man could traverse

Without light in hand

I confidently walk into pitch black

Heading for the top of the ridge

By the first turn the picture fades

The trail begins to change course

Stumbling and falling hands outstretched

Rocks reveal I’m not on the trail

Branches sting my face

Feeling my way I climb on

Like a blind man who lost his cane

Moving through bushes

Not seeing a thing

Night sounds surround me

As blind tree frogs sing

Stumbling in the darkness

A glimmer of light flickers up ahead

No time to stop I’ve reached the top

What one sees in daylight

Turns quite different in the dark

Pitch black surrounds you

The trail is obscure

Where there is no light

Always walk in the Light

Photos: Dwight L. Roth

 

 

 

Your Driving Force

Fear

Fear creates anxiety

Believing we are helpless

Unable to control our future

Fear drives us to climb on board

Riding the band wagon of distress

Cheering as we careen toward the cliff

Just like Thelma and Louise

Fear pre-empts good judgement

Listening to our insecurities

Believing in hopelessness

Instead of common sense

Fear grasps for that last straw

Knowing it will not save us

While denying the inevitable

Fear is the method of control

For politicians, religious leaders, and jihadi terrorists

Dictators, Presidents, Kings, and Priests

Why do we choose a spirit of fear

When we could have…

“…a Spirit of power, of love, and of a strong mind” (NKJV)

*****************************

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Raindrops

Raindrops

Glad I’m not a raindrop falling

From ten thousand feet in the air

Landing with a hard splat on the highway

Dividing and joining with others to run

Down the ditches red mud along for the ride

Glad I’m not a raindrop falling on the roses

Soft landings with no bottoms sharp thorns

Splitting drops in half no injury or hurt

Painless tears running down a jagged stem

Only to be swallowed up by thirsty roots

Glad I am not a raindrop falling from on high

Freezing into balls of crystal with no flexibility

Stacking up like congressmen in cold masses

Chilling everything with cold unchanging views

What future promise do crystal balls hold

Glad I am not a raindrop falling into a lake

Pounding the surface in vain spreading abroad

Lost in the masses swallowed in vastness

Identity lost waiting to be reborn once more

*********************************************

Photo: Dwight L. Roth