Whacked Out Bluebird (limericks)

There was a silly blue bird named Winnie-Jo

Who saw her reflection in the window

She mounted an attack

And into the window she went smack

But she still thought she was seeing Mary-Jo

Time after time she attacked

Each time her body went smack

As Charlie Joe watched

She never gave up

He thought, “Wow! This bird is whacked!”

What must be going through Winnie-Jo’s mind

As she chases those phantom feathers sublime

But then who can blame her

She never had a mirror

So she didn’t realize it was her all the time.

*

Photos. Dwight L. Roth

April Fools: These are not just silly limericks. Winnie-Jo is nesting in my bird box on the grape Arbor. She comes by every day and flies at her image reflected in my window. Now it is only a half-hearted gesture, but she seems not ready to give up. Her mate sits nearby and watches without trying it himself. Smart bird!

This is Open Link night at d’Verse Poets Pub. Lillian told us a hillarious true account of her experience in the great Boston snowstorm. Click on the following link to read it: https://dversepoets.com

Street Limericks

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There was an old man from Rope Walk

Whose coordination was all in a squawk

He stepped out on the wire

Which was straight as an arrow

But his fright of heights made him balk

 

Puss in Boots lived down Catshole Lane

Her manner of dress was never plain

When her Tom came a prowling

In her boots she was howling

And Cats down the whole lane did the same

 

Johnny moved in on Potacre Street

With grow lights and garden complete

He planted his garden

On this plot he could live on

Now his customers all call it High Street

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Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Today at d’verse we were asked to write a lighthearted poem using a selection of street signs that were given to us.  I chose to write limericks about three of the sign choices. Hope you enjoy them.  Come join us at:

https://deversepoets.com/

Fermentation

 

beer

Today on d’Verse~Poetry Pub, Paul asked us to write a poem about drinking! It could be alcoholic or not, or metaphorical. I decided to write about a childhood experience of playing with my neighbor and going through his basement where his father kept his empty beer bottles. The smell of the fermenting beer in the empty bottles has taken away the appeal to drink beer of any kind. To this day I have never had the desire to taste one. Here are three limericks that compose one poem.

Fermentation

When I was just a little tyke

Still riding my three wheeled trike

I passed through the basement

Where beer bottles in casements

Left foul sour odors in their wake

*

My neighbor really loved beer

To drink it gave him good cheer

Always Carling Black label

Bottles sat on his table

Empties sat in his basement it was clear

See the source image

Those sour beer bottles I remember

The smell the basement always rendered

It affected me so much

That I never did touch

A Carling Black Label // not one single

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Top photo:  collectablesonlinedaily.com

Second Photo:    midwestsupplies.com

Come join us at d’Verse: https://dversepoets.com/

Limericks to make you smile!

There was a young boy named Aidan,

Who loved video games and raisins.

He played as he nibbled

With his games he did fiddle,

’til his eyes fell upon a fair maiden

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Sweet Molly loved cookies and candy.

She ate on them weekdays and Sunday.

Her dentist said friend

Your teeth have no ends.

So they’ll all need filled by next Monday.

*

My favorite artist is Ashley

Who’s earrings are very costly

She charged me so much

I choked on my lunch

And never an earring did I see..

*

There was a sweet boy from Seoul,

Who ate his rice from a bowl.

Until he came here

And burgers brought cheer.

Now he eats his lunch on a roll!

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

 

Runny Nose Limericks

Tissues

For my 70th birthday I got a really bad head cold. Must have come with stress of travel the week before. It was there when I woke up and it is still there two days later. As they say, you can either laugh or cry, so I decided to laugh at it. Hopefully it will pass soon! Here are my silly Runny Nose Limericks

My nose began running today

I chased it but fell by the way

Then it did a big switch as it ran through my head

and turned into a river instead

 

The river became a huge flood

A nonstop flow of the mud

And as the dam broke I lost all my hope

As the tissues became just a joke

 

All day and all night ran the deluge

With tissues all over the floor

I felt so bad I stayed in my pad

Where I hoped and prayed for a cure

 

The tissues are all running low

Stacking up with each thunderous blow

If the sneezing won’t stop I may blow my top

With the flow of the river’s increase

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Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Campaign Limericks 4x

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Political campaigns are a most disgusting way to get a job! This Presidential Campaign is no exception. With mudslinging, lies, and nasty ads the two candidates go at each other like cats and dogs. I find I can either laugh or cry. This time I choose to laugh as I write these lighthearted limericks. I hope they make you smile.

Campaign Limericks 4x

I watched the presidential debates

Although it was getting late

The questions were straight

The answers irate

With nothing new on the plate

*

The Donald was leering and lame

Madam Hillary was smiling in pain

‘Till the tables were turned

Tax payments were learned

Now Trump has a lot to explain

*

Trump’s temperament is full of gusto

He blusters about everything that he knows

He did some outbursts

With a disgusting curse

Now Hillary repeats them for us to know!

*

Hillary loves Botox and pins

They take away wrinkles and chins

But the clothes that she wears

Are really a scare

For she looks like Mao Tse-tung

*

Campaigns are so disgusting

With mudsling lies and head busting

The elections are soon

Right around the  full moon

I can’t wait to end this filibustering

 

 

Silly Limericks Day

 

 christopherswallowing-the-coke-bottle-001

A while back I decided to try my hand at writing some limericks. They came out quite silly, so I decided to call this Silly Limericks Day. I hope they make you smile.

Silly Limericks Day

There was a sweet boy from Seoul

Who ate his rice from a bowl

Until he came here

And burgers brought cheer

Now he enjoys his lunch on a roll!

 ******

Sweet little Mary loves clothes pins

In her hair she always clips them

Until one day

They all fell away

Now they’re only found in the pin bin.

 ******

Natalie loves horses and riding

On the back of a Sorrel she’s gliding

She looks so refined

Just like a fine wine

With horse and rider combining

 ******

Sweet Patty  loved cookies and candy.

To eat them each weekday was dandy

Her dentist said friend

Your tooth has no end

So I need filled it next Monday

****** 

There was a little girl named Polly

Who had an American Girl dolly

Its hair was so soft

That her head twisted off

And that was our dear Polly’s folly!

 ******

There was a young girl named Sweet Pea

Who was fascinated with a cute sea a-nem-oneee

She forgot where she was

As she played with its fuzz

And she’s now just her dear mummy’s memory!

 ******

There was pirate named Larry

He had a big sword he named Harry

He got in a fight

And his sword took a bite.

It was there he committed Hari Kari!

 *******

There was a young man named Jaden

Who loved video games and raisins

He played as he nibbled

With his games he fiddled

’til his eyes fell upon a fair maiden

 ******

My favorite artist is Ashley

Whose paintings are very costly

She charged me a bunch

And I choked on my lunch

So never a painting did I see

******

Black and White Photo: Dwight L. Roth