
Co-dependence can be very destructive to relationships. In marriage, when one partner expects their partner to fit into their plans and their schedule, it isn’t long before tension and conflicts develop. For the co-dependent partner it is a major paradigm shift to learn to live with, but somewhat independent of the other person. Today at d’Verse, Amaya is asking us to write a Pentimento poem, which derives from the Italian meaning for repentance. It is to show how one can change their way of thinking in a way that makes life more positive for all. This is my story.
Paradigm Shift
Committed for life// together we stood
Taking our vows that day
Smiles on our face // stars in our eyes
When opposites commit, fire sometimes flies.
One holds on the other wants space
A head on collision in the race
Trains not always riding on the same tracks

Co-dependence can be overwhelming
I thought togetherness meant doing everything together
I learned independence is sometimes better
Struggling // I pushed off on my own
Not always expecting reciprocation.
Creativity emerged I had not expected

Life is much better now that I’ve reflected
Togetherness may mean riding parallel tracks
Commitment may mean traveling in the same direction…
Leaving co-dependence behind…
Maintaining each ones identity and self-worth

Photos: Dwight L. Roth
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