All Alone

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Many years ago I went through a very difficult time in my life. Everything was turned upside down and I did not know which way to turn. Nothing helped. It was during this time that I felt like Job…lost and alone. So, like Job I questioned God. asking why I did not find help in my time of need. I, unlike Job, did not get a scathing reply, but in time things did level out and life was as good as it ever was before.

WHERE WERE YOU GOD?
WHERE WERE YOU GOD // WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST
WHEN MY LIFE COLLAPSED AND MY LIFE TURNED BLACK?

GOD // WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I EXPECTED THAT YOU CARED
WHEN I BELIEVED // I TRUSTED // AND THOUGHT YOU HEARD?

WHERE WAS THE PROMISED PEACE OF MIND…
THAT THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES I DID NOT FIND?

WHEN I WALKED THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH
I FEARED EVERY EVIL // I FELT ALL THE PAIN

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I CRIED OUT IN PAIN
WHEN I PLEADED // I BEGGED // AND CALLED YOUR NAME?

WHEN I HURT SO BAD I WISHED I COULD DIE,
WERE YOU THERE TO SEE // DID YOU HEAR MY CRY?

I COULD NOT TELL // I FELT LEFT TO FATE…
WITH NO WAY TO HELP // BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE

WOULD ALL THAT HAPPENED, HAVE HAPPENED ANYWAY
OR WERE YOU THERE // WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WHERE WERE YOU GOD, WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST?

~1995~

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Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Frank, at d’Verse asked us to write a poem about frustration, disappointment or heartbreak.   Come join in with all the fun.

https://dversepoets.com

Alone

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One of the hardest questions to answer is why doesn’t God answer my prayer. In the middle of tragedy and loss we wonder why God allows this to happen. When it comes to broken relationships it is easy to feel isolated and alone, thinking no one understands. No one cares about my situation, not even God! But, we are not puppets. We are creatures of freewill and as a result God does not intervene in our choices. Pain and tragedy come and we all seem to go through our struggles. God is there. He still listens and hears our cries. But he does not take us out of troubles he helps us through. If we understand this we can move forward through the darkness to the light of his love.

 I Cry Alone

I cry alone I cry alone for no seems to care

So I cry alone

The depth of hurt I know the knife of pain

Cut deep into my soul when no answers came

I cry alone, I cry alone, for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

I cry but you’re not there I’m all alone

Helpless and empty the pain is always there

So I cry alone

I cry alone, I cry alone, for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

Lord are you really there you seem so far away

My life sits on the edge no one’s here for me

So I cry alone

I cry alone, I cry alone for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

For no one feels the pain    …of what I bear

 

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Back Alley in Philadelphia 001

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Your Driving Force

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Fear

Fear creates anxiety

Believing we are helpless

Unable to control our future

Fear drives us to climb on board

Riding the band wagon of distress

Cheering as we careen toward the cliff

Just like Thelma and Louise

Fear pre-empts good judgement

Listening to our insecurities

Believing in hopelessness

Instead of common sense

Fear grasps for that last straw

Knowing it will not save us

While denying the inevitable

Fear is the method of control

For politicians, religious leaders, and jihadi terrorists

Dictators, Presidents, Kings, and Priests

Why do we choose a spirit of fear

When we could have…

“…a Spirit of power, of love, and of a strong mind” (NKJV)

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Photo: Dwight L. Roth

How???

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How?

Losing Ground

Standing in the sand

Looking out over a beautiful world

While the sand erodes under these sore feet

Sucking like quicksand down into an ever changing surf

My mind spinning in astronomical directions

Wondering how this could happen

Crushed hopelessly

Sinking deeper

Help!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Futility of Revenge

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On the news today was yet another report of bombings in Turkey and in Egypt, murdering many women and children. It boggles my mind when I try to figure out why a person would strap on explosives and blow himself up. What is gained? Revenge, attention, power, or intimidation? When I think of the billions of dollars spent on war and destruction of our fellowmen I wonder with folk singer Pete Seeger,  “…when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn?”  I guess the answer is still “Blowin’ in the Wind!”

The Futility of Revenge

What are you thinking

What goes through your brain

When you strap on that vest of pain

Do you find joy when you kill and maim

Did you hear a call from your god again

Saying it’s better for you to die in shame

When you could your live life and bring about change

In a world gone to hell you could put out a flame

Why stir up fire and brimstone again

Does this accomplish your predestined end

In an explosive blink of sweet revenge

What kind of god requires hell to pay

Instead of forgiveness and love each day

Are you so hopeless you have nothing to say

Is that why sweet revenge is your way

What do you say how will you explain

Why you chose revenge bringing death and pain

Instead of God’s love that could bring about change

The “Just Fine” Mask

EER_0783What kind of mask do you wear?  Most of us at some time in our life have put on a mask to hide what is happening in our life. On the outside we appear to be doing well, but on the inside we are not “Just Fine!”  “Don’t worry, Be happy!” might work well in the words of a song, but many people are not ready to reveal themselves because of the fear they won’t be heard. My former pastor used to say, “What’s happening is not always what’s going on!” Take time for your friends and co-workers. Listen and find out what is really going on. This poem speaks to our superficiality and how it affects us.

The “Just Fine” Mask

“How are you?” “Oh, I am just fine!”

How easy to protect ourselves behind our mask

Social butterflies flitting here and there

A drop of nectar from me and one from you

Kiss, Kiss!

“How are you?” “Well, I have been better.”

“Stop right there I don’t want to know”

Cutting you off… too much information

No invested emotion here

Kiss, Kiss

“How are you?” “Oh, I am so glad you asked!”

“Here we go again… do I really have to listen to this?”

“Tell me what is going on, I would love to hear.”

“Don’t worry it will get better.”

Kiss, Kiss

“How are you?” “I am really struggling!”

“I am so sorry, tell me more.”

“What can I do to help?”

“I’ll call you soon!” “Then we’ll talk.”

Kiss, Kiss

“Hi how are you?” “I’m fine!”

“I can’t deal with this anymore”

“Love you, goodbye!”

Where Were You God…

Where Were You God When I Needed You Most…?

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Questioning God does not separate us from his love. When I heard of the shooting of several police officers in Dallas, TX this past week, this  question again came to mind. I thought about the families of those involved in recent police shootings and wondered how they were coping.  In my own experience. I went through some dark times in my mid-life that left me feeling alone with this same unanswerable question. Even though I was a person of faith, I did not find  the peace of mind that I was taught God would give me in my time of need. It was a very difficult time for me, as I am sure it is for those who are grieving  for their lost loved ones. The Bible tells us that nothing can separate us from God’s love.  Even our doubts and questions do not change God’s love for us.  This poem expresses some of my feelings, questions, and doubts during that time.  My heart goes out to the grieving families at this time.

Where were you God when I needed you most

When my life collapsed

And the one I loved will never come back

God, where were you when I believed you cared

When I trusted you to direct my path

Where was the promised peace of mind

That through difficult times I did not find

When I walked through the valley of the shadow of death

I feared every evil I felt all the pain

Where were you when I cried out in pain

When I pleaded I begged I called out your name

When I hurt so bad I wished I could die

Were you there to see did you hear my cry

I could not tell

I felt alone left to fate

With no way to help before it’s too late

Would all that happened have happened anyway

Or were you there

What do you say?

Where were you God

When I needed you most?

I Cry Alone

The music group R.E.M. wrote a song called Everybody Hurts, in which the video depicts the ways people struggle with pain and depression. Depression is an implosion of the soul that leaves one feeling destitute of spirit and all alone. I wrote the following poem as a song,  when I was at one of those points in my life. Sometimes the only thing that helps one hold on is when another person stands with us quietly caring. Words of help, quoting Bible verses,  and solutions to fix us only make us feel worse. The most important thing is to be there in the aloneness. Listen to the video if you care to and read my poem to get some insight into what is really happening. The Pslamist spoke of walking through the valley of death. This was one of those times.

I cry alone I cry alone for no seems to care

So I cry alone

The depth of hurt I know the knife of pain

Cut deep into my soul when no answers came

I cry alone, I cry alone, for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

I cry but you’re not there I’m all alone

Helpless and empty the pain is always there

So I cry alone

I cry alone, I cry alone, for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

Lord are you really there you seem so far away

My life sits on the edge no one’s here for me

So I cry alone

I cry alone, I cry alone for no one seems to care

So I cry alone

For no one feels the pain    …of what I bear