No Joy in Pain

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Some people tell me, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Other will say that the end justifies the means, and it will all work out in the end. The preacher tells me, “Count it all joy when you suffer.” “God is testing you!”

I am not a fan of any of the above. I have been through back surgery for two ruptured discs. I did find healing and renewed physical strength for which I am grateful. On the other hand, I went through several years of depression that let me scarred with wounds that will never heal. Being told to cheer up or it will get better was no help.

No one, it seems, has a quick fix for pain. The best help for someone who is suffering is to be there for them, in a physical sense. Skip the helpful comments, the old clichés, and religious promises, and just be present with them. Listen and feel their pain with them. In due time things may or may not work out, but what I remember most is who cared enough to be there for me.

No joy in deep pain

Words and promises fall short

Be present with me

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Today at d’Verse, Ingrid asked us to dig deep and share a time in our life when we experienced pain. We are to write a poem that expresses how pain affected us as we went through it and hopefully came out on the other side.

Join us at: https://dversepoets.com

Painting: Dwight L. Roth

Celebrating Moments in Time

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My father-in-law turned 90 a few years ago and his family and long time friends gathered in his care facility to celebrate. He enjoyed it all very much, especially the cake and ice cream.  It was a wonderful time that we will long remember, although he only remembered for the moment.  Some might wonder why go all out if he won’t remember that it happened.  I believe that although he was not able to remember, the effects on his well being lasted much longer.  The goal for someone in Alzheimer’s is to create moments that make them feel alive now, and tomorrow they will still feel better, even if they do not know why. Time with loved ones is never wasted.
We celebrated
Ninety years of connections
Winter closing in
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Chocolate cake enjoyed
A very special moment
Birch trees pushing buds
Photos; Dwight L. Roth
Today at d’Verse we are celebrating birthdays. Kim asked write about a special birthday we remembered. I don’t remember any special birthday parties that I had as a child.  I decided to write about our last birthday party for my father-in-law who lived at Lifestyles Care Facility in Edmonton, AB. It was a great day for all.

Join us at: https://dversepoets.com

Taking Down Memories

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Today I took the ornaments off of my Christmas tree, and packed them back in the box, to store until next year. I enjoyed looking again at each ornament, remembering that many of them came from my former elementary school students. Some I remembered; others had names on them. You may think an ornament is an insignificant gift, but mine have hung on my tree every year since 1970.

Gifts bring back mem’ries

Each one was a warm spot in my heart

Winter of my life

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Photos: Dwight L. Roth

Our 50th

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Yesterday was our fiftieth wedding anniversary. Our whole family came home to celebrate with us. It was a wonderful day together. I received this tile from my wife for our twenty-fifth anniversary. This year I wrapped it up and gave it back to her. A reminder of the fifty years we have spent together.  Like our relationship, it has been cracked, but not broken. Now it is cemented together and stronger than ever

Happy Anniversary, my love…
Fifty years have flown by;
Through the years one thing remains; our vow of commitment to stay together for better and for worse.
We enjoyed many great years together with our family and our church. Our faith brought us through the Valley of the Shadow of death and out the other side.
We love our wonderful children and grandchildren. We pray that each one will use the values and principals we have taught them to find their own way.
I love you as much today as I did when we said our vows fifty years ago. Our love has grown and changed over the years, but I believe the love that brought us together was God ordained and he has seen us through.
Happy Anniversary my dear…
I love you with all my heart. I look forward to our next 50 years together.
December 27, 1969 – 2019

Photo: Dwight Roth

 

Our Last Christmas Together

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Back in 2012, we celebrated our last Christmas with my wife’s mother. She had just been diagnosed with and inoperable brain tumor. It was a time of very deep and mixed emotions. Her father was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and in January of 2013 had to be placed in a care facility as well. As I look at this photo, I see that Mother has resigned herself to what is to come and greatly enjoyed our last Christmas together. On the other hand Dad was filled with anxiety at the anticipation of being left alone without his wife to care for him.  You can see that his smile did not hold the same resignation as Mother’s. The adjustments of aging and loss are much deeper than any of us can imagine. As we complete our fiftieth year together, I often reflect on that Christmas, and on what is still to come.
Enjoying Christmas
Knowing everything will change
Winter’s mixed feelings

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Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Also posted of Frank Tassone’s Haikai challenge…

#Haikai Challenge #118 (12/21/19): Christmas/Hanukkah #haiku #senryu #haibun #tanka #haiga #renga

 

Father’s Day

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Father’s day always brings memories of my dad, who I always referred to as Pop! He was a caring and compassionate person who showed love not only to his family, but to everyone he met. He died at the age of seventy, back before heart bypass surgery was happening. Although it has been so many years, I still miss him.

Father, Dad, or Pop…
A wonderful man to me
Agape Love shown

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Photo: Dwight L. Roth

 

 

Memories

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Memorial Day brings back memories of all those loved ones who have passed on.  Hopefully memories are good ones that can be recalled with warm feelings. My mother loved our boys and enjoyed being a part of their life. My father died at age 70, but she live on to be 93. She enjoyed watching them grow and seeing them become parents to her great grandchildren. We look back with fond memories of those days.

Memorial Day brings

memories of lost loved ones.

Always in our hearts

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Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Remembering Mom

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Mom passed away in 2007 at the age of 93. She was one of a kind, caring and compassionate, with a love that went beyond herself to those around her. Her life was spent in service to her family, her husband, and others.  She was strong and enduring, with a will to find meaning and purpose up to the end. She took time to read to us when we were young. Her faith in God went very deep and she shared that with everyone she met. She was a preacher’s wife who worked hard to bring the love of God to others.

Mom // strength of mountains

Caring love brings ebb and flow

Compassion for all

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Photo: Dwight L. Roth