It was a warm Sunday afternoon. Jim took a small hand-ax with him as he climbed the ridge behind her farm. They had been friends since primary school, but now, seven years later she had broken his heart. Tommy Butler beat him to the draw, asking Julie Anne to the middle school dance… and she said yes.
With all his strength he chopped at the initials carved into the side of the tall sugar maple. He carved them there when he was thirteen. Now it was a bleeding scar where a heart of love once lived.
When Jim, told George what he had done, a smile crossed his wise old, wrinkled face.
“When I was your age, I had a girl who broke my heart as well. She played with my heart, then ‘she’d had it sliced away leaving a scar’. It still hurts.”
Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Today at d’Verse, Sarah asked us to write a prosery story of 144 words, which must include the line: ‘she’d had it sliced away leaving a scar’. from a poem by Michael Donaghy. (https://rihlajourney.wordpress.com/2010/12/27/liverpool-michael-donaghy/)
I decided to continue my conversations of Jim and his friend Old George.
Join us at: https://dversepoets.com
awww such sweet story relatable. the tree bares the pain for all. 💖💖
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What a great way to put it! Thank you so much Cindy!
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You’re so welcome Dwight!
💖💖
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so relatable!
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Oh, young love – so powerful, so foolish, so wonderful. Really enjoyed this.
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Thank you very much Sarah!
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oh dwight this is so good! I loved it! ❤
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Thank you, Carol anne. I am so glad you enjoyed it!
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Wonderful.
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It was good to meet up with Jim and Old George again!
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I thought maybe you would enjoy seeing them again!
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😀
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I put the sugar maple in just for you! :>)
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Very sweet of you (pun intended).
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Ha ha!!
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Nice one
Much💚love
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Thank you!
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Excellent take on the prompt!
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Thank you, Paula!
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Oh, first love and first heartbreak! I hope Jim gets over her quickly. Nicely done, Dwight!
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Thanks Merril! Short and sweet!
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You’re welcome!
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Love me some dialogue; great way to share the tale. In high school, I fell in love with a cheerleader, but I went out with anyone who agreed to go; pragmatic, I guess.
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I know the feeling of those middle school and high school crushes. Thanks for your comment!
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Masterful use of the prompt, and of using tree and heart together so well…
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Thank you, Ain, for your kind response. I am glad you enjoyed it. I think we all remember those days and still carry those scars!
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Some of life’s lessons do leave scars, don’t they?
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Yes, they do.
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Beautiful story. Some scars hurt forever.
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Thank you very much Mary. That is true in both young and old!
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Dwight, this has a ring of truth to it, and I’m guessing that was the very tree. I enjoy your Jim and George stories. I’m sure the tree forgives the poor kid ❤
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Thank you Lisa. No, this is not the tree mentioned. This is really flash fiction. The tree may forgive but both still carry the scars! :>) I appreciate your comments.
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You’re very welcome. Glad it’s fiction. I remember awhile back you posted a picture of you and a girl you had a crush on in grade school and imagined it was connected to that story/poem.
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:>) Not this time! :>)
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I love the way you captured and wove such fluidity through the scars of heartbreak Dwight. 💔Beautifully composed my friend! 👏🏻💞🥰
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Thank you Kym! When you only have 144 words to work with it has to flow or bomb out! I really appreciate your kind comment!
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Oh my pleasure as always my friend. You did great with what you had to work with! 👍🏼🤩👏🏻
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:>) :>) :>) Thanks!
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You’re very welcome Dwight! 🥰💖😊🌺🤗
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Cutting away the wound promotes healing, both physically and emotionally. Strong write Dwight.
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Thank you, Rob. I appreciate your comments.
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You did a fine job with this one! 🌳
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Thank you so much Michele!
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My pleasure, Dwight!
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Ahhhh, young love 🥰
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:>)
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Excellent use of prompt
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Thank you Derrick!
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And the moral of that story is, never carve up a tree. It hurts the tree, and it might hurt you too 🙂
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I am afraid teens don’t think that far! Thanks Jane.
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🙂
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My, I can feel the emotion of this .
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Thank you, Paul! I think we have all been there at one time or another!
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Yes, differently but yes.
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A nice piece, showing how easy it is for us to offload our pain onto someone or something else. Well done.
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Thank you so much!
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Great piece. Yeah love can be like that sometimes. It’s the forgetting that’s the hardest part.
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Yes it is and sometimes we never do.
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Wonderful write ❤️✍️
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Thank you so much!
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It’s a pleasure
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Most timely post! I fell yesterday and have 8 stitches leaving a scar in my scalp. Scars occur for many reasons. Some visible-some hidden in the hair – some invisible – but they all teach us a lesson. Mine is one the Lord keeps repeating: Slow down & watch where you’re going! It’s as hard to do today as it was in my youth!
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Wow! so sad to hear of your fall! Hopefully it will hid under your hair! Be careful and watch your step! Thanks Dwight!
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Thank you, Dwight. I will be more careful!
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I beautifully crafted story Dwight.
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Thank you Daphny!
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You’re welcome, Dwight!
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The tree seems to have suffered the most. I love your story. It’s so hard to write something that’s complete in 144 words but you manage to do it, and so beautifully too. The first heart break is always the hardest.
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Thank you so much. The tree, like us many times, took the brunt of the frustration. As Sheryl Crowe says, “The First Cut is the Deepest! I appreciate your kind comments.
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Pingback: Scars of a Broken Heart – Nelsapy
Thank you!
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Pingback: Scars of a Broken Heart – A Little TOO Picture Imperfect
Thank you for reposting this one!
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