These five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Acceptance turns to nostalgia
as I turn 75 tomorrow
Another year added to a long
interesting life
There is a sense of grief at this age
looking back and looking forward
Grief for the loss of what once was
realizing change is inevitable
Watching the next generation
moving on without you
Knowing someday, they too
will look back wishing
they had asked more questions
of the living
The future is a bit unsettling as
control may be forfeited
to someone else’s care
I pray that will not happen
I have wrestled with God
Argued with him threatened him
and been angry with him
At this point in life I have made
my peace with God and eternity
Some things are better left unknown
The subtle losses seem to hurt the most
There is anger at the changes that
occur in our physical bodies
The ringing in the ears, the loss of hearing
All that extra weight that comes on slowly
The medical field has no sensitivity
to body shaming, calling me obese
How is that any different than saying
you’re fat
Yet I am thankful I can still function
slower and with less energy but still going
Joints and muscles ache more at this age
but still remain relatively strong
My life’s work has been traded for
a more sedentary style of living
I look back and dream of what once was
Knowing memories are all we have
I listen to the old songs and relish
the pleasure of visions they hold
But joy comes in the grandchildren
so full of life and possibilities
I pray that they will find the strength
to face the realities of a changing world
and still show love and compassion
for those around them
It has been a long life and this, a long poem
So I think it is best to stop here.
Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Today at d’Verse, Lisa asked us to consider the five stages of grief and choose one to write our poem. Since tomorrow is my 75th birthday I chose to write about acceptance. I have kicked and screamed, so to speak, throughout my life. I still grumble and complain about the changes taking place, but for the most part I feel like I have made my peace with my life and am in a place of acceptance. Letting go is very difficult, but in reality we never really have control in this life.
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A very thought-provoking and insightful poem to honor your 75th birthday.
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Thank you, Liz! I don’t usually write poems this long, but it seemed to call for a longer version today! :>)
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Form will follow the needs of function!
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It does seem that way! :>)
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Yes, wisely penned.
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Thank you Eunice!
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A simply beautiful life, happy birthday Roth. 🙂
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Thank you so much! I have been very blessed!
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Thank you for your heartfelt poem. So much poignant truth, so much I resonate with, so much life lived….. So much to feel, so much to remember and so very much to learn to let go of…. Thank you again. And happy birthday to you!
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Thank you very much Josaia! I appreciate your comments.
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So moved by your reflection, Dwight. I think you’ve skipped over something, though. The many lives your words have touched and continue to shape. The way your kindness has rippled out into the world, and all the minds you’ve opened and changed through your teaching, effects behind measure, and they continue to multiple. Blessings to you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
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Thank you for your very kind comments, Karla. I hope what you say is true and that it made a difference in the world around us. I appreciate your noting this!
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Well, it makes a difference to me, so I feel certain it has and does to many others. Happy birthday to you, Dwight.
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Thank you so much! :>)
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Oh, she is right, it is true, for sure.
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Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind affirmation!
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I am so thankful for your thoughts , I am learning ❤️
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Thank you so much Andrada! It has not been easy letting go. Much grief involved for sure!
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Our aspiration to the absolute brings us grief. But what do we know? We are apprentices all along, sometimes brave, sometimes fearful, but still apprentices. I think it is beautiful not to be imprisoned in illusions and to be willing to fell, to learn and to teach others. I often want to learn from people like you, thank you for your wisdom.
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Thank you. I agree!
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And happy birthday Dwight🌸
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Oh, Thank you very much!
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Dwight thank you for sharing your vulnerable self in your poem. I think you’re right, the idea we have been in control is just an illusion. Hoping you have a joyful 75th birthday ❤
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Thank you Lisa! I agree. I will try my best!
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You’re very welcome, my friend.
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Although I’m not quite your age yet, Dwight, I kept knodding when reading your lines. Yes – the physical body is slowly decaying, yes – there is more time behind one then ahead, yes – it’s not easy to let go of the past and the people that have slipped out of (ones) life. And yes – being able to make peace with ones life is perhaps the most important thing one can do. I wish you a very happy 75th birthday!
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Thank you so much, my friend! I am glad it resonated with you. Life is challenging to say the least!
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This poem moved me especially now that my parents are in their 70s and 80s. Happiest of birthdays and thank you for being so generous with your gifts.
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You are very welcome. Thank you for your comments. Take good care of your parents. Aske them lots of questions. Write down their answers! You will not regret it!
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Facing any kind of change is hard and having regrets. I heard today that hindsight is the greatest solution if we could have it early on. (Or something like that).
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Yes, hindsight comes a little too late! And regret only ruins the future!
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I have had a difficult time with hindsight and regret. After losing my son, I get caught in this contemplation of all the things I could have done differently or should have said….It is an awful abyss and when I do it I have to tell myself that the past is the past and it cannot be changed and then try to focus on all the good things. Its still hard though!
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I am so sorry for your loss! I cannot imagine what you are feeling!
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Thank you. Like I said it is the “should’ve done” that aches. You just never know what path may have changed. Then again, that could have changed a lot. You know, one of my sister-in-laws had said, “If he buys a motorcycle I would kick him out of my house!”. This was before my son bought his bike. He was 19, paid cash, he was an adult. Now, looking back, that could have been a year of me not even talking to my son if I had kicked him out. Luckily, she never said something like that after he passed. My sister on the other hand…she always had that “See, I told you not to let him buy it!” attitude.
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That is very painful when people you love say thoughtless things! There was little you could have done. Choices affect us and everyone around us. He made the choice of his own free will!
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That goes back around to hindsight and all that. All of his best friends still ride their motorcycles. Not as fancy as his was but still.
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The motorcycle just happened to be the vehicle he was riding… it could have been a car or even a bicycle! If he was enjoying life, that is what is important!
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Yes, that is totally true. Unless “you” are someone who purposely causes something to happen, the rest is fate or God, or whoever/whatever you believe in.
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Yes I believe so!
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Wow, thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this with us. With age clearly comes wisdom, that much is clear through your poetry. Happy Birthday to you!!!!
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Thank you so much for your kind words!
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Enjoyed your honest reflections! 💓
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Thank you Tricia!
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I guess the art is replacement with something different. Loss ceases to hurt.
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I like to stay busy with a variety of things, so I do not miss the working world!
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I loved every line of your long poem, Dwight. This is heartfelt.
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Thank you so much for your kind words!
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Happy birthday. 😀
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:>)
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Happy Birthday, Dwight! Have a wonderful day full of laughter, good food, family, friends, flowers, and sunshine! You are an inspiration, and your creative posts are a treat for me. This poem is a masterpiece! ✨
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Thank you so much, Michele, for your kind words and your continued affirmation. I will do my best to make this a great day! I really appreciate being able to call you my friend!
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You are welcome, Dwight. I hope your birthday is off to a splendid start! Thank you so much! I feel the same. 😊
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:>) It is…
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Wonderful!
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Happy Birthday! 😎
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Thank you very much!
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More acceptance and celebration than grief, I’d say
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Yes, they do outweigh the grief! Life has been good, and I am happy to be blessed with good health, good friends, and a loving family!
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That is clear
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:>)
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Firstly and most importantly thank you for sharing such sensitive insights in such an honest way. Then Happy Birthday and may you enjoy it with those lovely grandies and those you love.
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Thank you very much! You are welcome. I am planning to seem them this evening to celebrate!
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Great! Enjoy.
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I felt your heart here, Dwight. I love the mix of sadness, nostalgia, celebration, and hope. 75 is a long life and I hope you’ll get to celebrate it tomorrow. Cheers!
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Thank you very much! We plan to celebrate with family this evening!
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Awesome, Dwight!
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:>)
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Happy 75th Dwight. I was 72 in February. You got here before me 😊
“realizing change is inevitable” – this line resonates so well the choice to acceptance.
Much💛love
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Thank you Gillena. You are not far behind. Change is probably the hardest thing for me to accept! But, I am still working on it!
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Happy 75th birthday, Dwight! I am so sorry for the body shaming you have experienced. It is so hard when our body prevents us from being as active as we once were. I recognize that anger and frustration you mention.
Praise God we have such a compassionate advocate, who gently meets us in our losses to reveal the beauty of His Spirit unfolding in us right there. I am so blessed by the fruit of gentleness that pours out of the poems and paintings you share here – surely those surrenders are reaping bountiful and abiding fruit in you (and in others through you).
May God continue to comfort you in those places of earthly surrender He is leading you through, reassuring your heart, mind, body and soul. Sounds like your grandkids are already His soothing balm to you in this place. May God multiply your joy through them today.
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Thank you, Anna, for you kind and compassionate comments. We do mellow with age it seems. I have tried to channel my frustrations with change into other creative paths that work for me. I am glad you appreciate my efforts.
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“The subtle losses seem to hurt the most”–so true. Very moving. (K)
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Thank you very much. I agree!
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Happy birthday! Such a beautiful poem. It truly captures what it is like to be at this stage in life. So many good things but so many losses, too.
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Thank you so much! I guess life is a trade-off as we age! Some are quite hard to accept!
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What an Awesome poem/post, Dwight!! I loved it all the way through. You captured so many of my same feelings – loved it, loved it!!! 😍🎁✨👌
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Thank you so much, Chuck for your kind affirmation. I am glad it resonated with you. So many mixed feelings arise at this age. I am glad to be blessed with good health and still able to function fairly well.
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Happiest of Birthday! Keep pouring those profound thoughts and give them a beautiful meaning.
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Thank you so much Harshi! I will do my best!
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An eloquent reflective poem, Dwight. ❤ I wish you a joyful birthday celebrated with family and friends. I admire your very full life among flowers and wildlife, writing beautiful poems, creating music and art, and serving your community. Whatever happens in the future, you can take satisfaction in a life well-lived and savor your memories. I am not far behind you, and I have similar hopes for myself. 🙂
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Thank you, my friend! I appreciate your kind comments. I will stay active and busy as long as I can. It helps keep me inspired. You are in a beautiful setting as well! Stay inspired!
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Happy Birthday Dwight.
Your poem speaks volumes to a life well lived so honestly and reflective of the joys and pains of living. Such a rich tapestry you’ve woven with family and loved ones and a legacy of faith, hope and love.
💖
I love this ” I have wrestled with God
Argued with him threatened him
and been angry with him”
At this point in life I have made
my peace with God and eternity
You are young by all stretch of the means to me andresilientt and always staying present to the moment and the gifts.
Enjoy every minute!
💖
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Thank you, my friend! Life has been interesting to say the least! Sometimes not so much fun, but here I am at 75! Who would have thought? The end of life is the time to make peace with yourself and accept what can’t be changed! I appreciate your ongoing friendship and affirmation.
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That was absolutely beautiful and so well written! Honestly I think everyone can understand this on some level. It really sparks some thought.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
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Thank you very much! I think my life at this age is like your title… a paradox dream! :>)
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Reblogged this on Life On The Lake and commented:
This one is for us: The ones who have known joy and laughter, pain and tears and have found the end a bit cruel, yet we wouldn’t have “missed the dance.”
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Thank you so much for your comments and for reblogging this one. Yes, Garth was right. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!
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Your reflections are worded with honesty and wisdom – your grand children have a wonderful role model. Happy birthday Dwight.
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Thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed it! They are the best! :>)
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Dwight, may your 75th birthday be filled with laughter among those you love ❤ Aging comes with so many challenges. I dread becoming a burden for my sons.
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Thank you Rosaliene. Aging does have its challenges! I appreciate your kind comment.
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Happy 75th Birthday Dwight! I think you should write about your five stages of joy! I’m sure that list is a lot longer than the stages of grief. Besides, you are a person who brings joy to so many my friend!!! 🥳🥂🎈🎆✨🎁🎂🤗💖 Have a FANtabulous day! 🌞🦋😊
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Thank you my dear friend! My journey has been richly blessed by the joy of learning to know you! Thank you for be an inspiration to all you meet!
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You’re absolutely welcome my dear friend. I truly appreciate you making my heart skip a beat Dwight with your extra kind words. I’m so glad God made our paths to cross! Take care my friend. You have 364 more days of celebrating to go…just so you’d know!!! 🥳🎁🎂
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Thank you, Kym, I am counting on that!! :>)
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I understand the internal struggle… and in my case a growing anxiety of how fast life has moved/is moving. You’ve found one of the best ways to conquer this… God and family!
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There are many emotions in the straight forwardness of your words. I do like this narrative style of poetry very much.
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Thank you so much! I am glad it connects with you. Anything less would not have been authentic!
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🫰 enjoyed
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Thank you very much!
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This is epic, Dwight ~ epic! So much of what you share I relate to 100%. Cheers, my friend.
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Thanks, Dwight. Great poem–honest and provocative. Since I just turned sixty and lost my husband a few years ago, I can relate completely. When I look back, my memories comfort (and sometimes disturb) me. When I look ahead, the journey gets shorter and shorter. All of this reminds me that every moment has to count, and I need to grab life with both hands.
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Yes, seize the Day! Thank you for your kind comments. It has been quite a ride. And the shortness of the future is always there, and we race on like Thelma and Louise in the movie!
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You’re right. We never have total control. Never did … never will. I used to joke… “If I ruled the world…” but, in reality, Thank God I don’t!
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Oh, you are so right about that! Thank you Jan! Hope your hand is feeling better.
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Dwight, your beautiful poetry and always thoughtful comments know no age🌸
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Thank you, Kathy! I find my responses are often reciprocated! I believe that is what makes blogging work! I really appreciate your comments.
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Hello my dear friend your post reminds me of another post I read on the blog today where a friend of mine was going through similar emotions on turning 70. All the lives you’ve touched and all the ways you’ve changed the world, is tangible and will always matter even many decades later. As its said, 70 is the new 50, you still have miles to go!😊
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Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope your assessment is right I am ready for the next 50! I appreciate your comment!
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You’re most welcome 😊
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That was beautifully written
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Thank you very much!
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Happy birthday.
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Thank you very much!
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Glad to have cime across your blog. Very inspiring. Happy birthday dear.
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Thank you very much! Welcome!
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Wise words of reflection. I enjoyed reading this
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Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed it!
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Happy birthday!
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Thank you Joy!
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This is so beautiful and inspiring. Thank you 🙏
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind comment.
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Happy Birthday, Dwight! I am two years behind you, and trying to let go of the control factor, which I don’t have anyway. A good friend told me that the worst thing to do is think about what your expectations were, instead of enjoying what it.
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Your friend is right. Expectations drag you down if you are not careful. Go with the flow and do what makes you feel good! Thanks for the birthday wishes. You are not far behind!
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Thanks, Dwight.
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You are welcome!
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“I have made my peace with my life and am in a place of acceptance. Letting go is very difficult, but in reality we never really have control in this life” This made me 😭😢 alongside the others. It’s so true letting go is very difficult
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It is probably the most difficult thing we can do in life! Giving up control is very freeing, but still unsettling. Thank you for your great comment. I am glad this connected with you.
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Good One. Wishing you much more happy years ahead..
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Thank you so much!
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