Chasing Beauty

/ rothpoetry

I followed her as she floated in free fall,

admiring all those glittering points of light.

I reached out to touch her glistening face

only to find her cheeks cold to the touch.

Light reflected, not inborn.

Landing with all the others

she froze in place // frigid // unmoving;

unique glory lost in the masses.

Her cold cold frozen heart melted

in the early morning sunshine.

Sparkling one last time, she disappeared

right before my eyes…

Snowflake // so perfect // so unique;

One of a kind ephemeral beauty.

Photos: Dwight L. Roth

Today at d’Verse, Peter asked us to consider beginnings… the beginning line of our poem. He noted that the beginning line of a poem makes a person either want to continue reading or pass it by. I have reworked a poem that had a generic beginning and attempted to make it more enticing!

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82 thoughts on “Chasing Beauty”

  8. Yep definitely an enticing start – I haven’t read your original but this line feels like jumping straight in: straight off I wanted to know who this person is (tho the photo was a hint), does she need rescuing, where is she etc. And the duality of the metaphor handled well through the rest of the poem which has a snow-like lilting rhythm to it. Lovely piece.

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    • Thank you Peter for your kind assessment! I called the original one Chasing Snowflakes, but that gave it away too soon. It is amazing how a good first line makes you want to go on. And, with Word Press Reader you only get one line with your posts, so the do have to be good.
      The original started this way:
      Snowflake so perfect so unique
      One of a kind ephemeral beauty
      Dancing through the air, cold as ice…

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  15. I think you succeeded. I don’t know what the original beginning was, but “I followed her as she floated in free fall,” certainly made me want to read on! I love the personification of objects. This one is particularly poignant. ❤

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  27. This is a wonderful poem full of atmosphere. It invites me to dream and shows me that someone can say so much with just a few well-chosen words.
    And the photos are amazing!
    Thanks for that!
    I wish you all the best… ⛄❄️❄️
    Rosie from Germany

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  35. Beautiful Poem. This is the first time I find one of your poems and I initially thought it was about a woman. The closing line was a beautiful and funny revelation! What a beautiful snowflake. Thanks

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