When I am gone my words remain…
Forever lost in cyberspace
Words in black and white refrain
When I am gone my words remain
Pictures painted on cave walls plain
Left for others who search this place
When I am gone will words remain
Or, just a black and white refrain?
Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Today at d’Verse, Frank asked us to write a triolet. Since this is totally new to me, I took an extra day to work on this one. I am making a stab at it and hope it is close to what we are supposed to do. For more on what a triolet is, check with Wikipedia.
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Roth Poetry 
Your words will remain – and your love will live on in all who love you. 💕
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Yes, a great legacy indeed! Thank you Jan.
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Yes!
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Words remain. This made me think of all the words I’ve read etched on walls and trees and tables everywhere and anywhere. Words remain. And people read them forever.
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Your blog inspired this one. I read it this morning and thought. You know all any of us want is proof of our existence in the world. A line you wrote that words remain really connected with me. I wrote it down and then later this evening came back and put this together! Thanks for the inspiration. May our words last for ever!! :>)
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I don’t know what to say to your reply. It is overwhelming to me that my struggle/effort/revealing has inspired you to write this beautiful piece. I can only thank you for your reading and for your thought and for your paying it forward to someone else. Thank you. ❤️
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I love the title of your blog. That caught my attention to start with. Thank you and keep on writing!
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I will and you do the same! 🙂
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I was thinking about how we used to carve initials into trees, but the trees would keep growing and in a couple of years those words we carved would be gone. Maybe a telephone pole would last a little longer! Kids in the city use graphite!
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I like the shift at the end wondering whether even words will remain when one is gone.
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Thank you Frank. This was a new form for me.
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our words will live on long after we are gone, nice refrain 🙂
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This is a good one, Dwight, and I do like the sound of your refrain line. Not a standard triolet (it’s the first and third lines that rhyme not the first and second) but it makes more sense the way you’ve done it. Of course, if you have another day to spare on tweaking it, I’m sure you could get it to make perfect poetic sense the triolet way 🙂
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Thank you Jane! I will look at it.
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I like it the way it is. As a challenge you could tinker with it, but only if you’re feeling masochistic this weekend 🙂
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Check it out and see what you think. Did it help or was the original better?
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I went back and switched some lines to do what you suggested. But, I kept the refrain line the same. Thanks for your help!
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My pleasure! We’re all amateurs, trying to get better at the craft 🙂
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Yes!
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There’s a slight problem with the rhyme sequence, but if you change the lines around to get the correct sequence, I think it makes it even better! What do you think?
When I am gone my words remain…
Forever lost in cyberspace
Words in black and white refrain.
When I am gone my words remain
Pictures painted on cave walls plain
Left for others who search this place.
When I am gone will words remain
Forever lost in cyberspace?
It changes the meaning slightly in the last repetition.
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Yes, I believe that was my original middle stanza. I like it much better. Thanks again. I get bogged down with form. the aba abba etc. hangs up in my brain!! :>)
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I have to have a poem in front of me to compare with mine otherwise I can’t follow the abba abba type rules.
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That is why I used your format to try to compose this one. I need the words!
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Yes, it needs a particular type of brain to be able to process ababacdcdba and turn it into a poem!
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A more mathmaticlal one than I have.
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Same here.
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I have no doubt your words will remain in the hearts of those who love you.
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Thank you Ali for your kind comments!
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I’ve thought about this as well.
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Thank you!
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Loved this, Dwight! Really great!! Yes, your words will remain and your impact with be permanent! And thank you so much for sharing them with all of us!!! Bellissimo, My Friend!!
I have a little different take in my “I Only Have My Words”
https://thereluctantpoetweb.wordpress.com/2017/10/27/i-only-have-my-words/
Chuck
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Thank you Chuck. Your warm words of encouragement always make my day. I am so glad you enjoy my work and reshare it so often.
I reread your poem and, “You are enough!!”
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Dwight! This is a really great post!!!
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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Great lines of repetition filled with truth.
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Thank you Astrid! It was an interesting prompt!
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I like the thought that some will remain… who knows what will happen to the cyberspace…
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Thank you! You are right. Twenty five years ago no one ever heard of it.
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I don’t know much about poetry forms, but yours makes perfect sense. Words left behind in cave carvings, and scrolls, etc. were so much easier for folks to discover years later. Now, in this digital age, we have to wonder. All we can hope for is the things we hope stick around do, and those we don’t will vaporize!
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It is hard to tell what the future holds. I have made copies of a lot of my writing and self-published my work for family and friends. Thank you for your thoughtful comment and kind words.
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That’s wonderful you’re leaving your writing to family. Your words will live on! I published my memoir five years ago, but it’s not something most family want to read. I’ve come to terms with it. Lol.
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I guess it would make a difference depending what the stories tell!
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True!
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I like to think our words will remain after we are gone. I just worry about a crash in the cyber-world that will cause the fragments of our lives to be lost.
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Time to self-publish your books in hard copy!
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Stunning poem Dwight! Absolutely loved it!
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Thank you so much for your kind words! I am very glad you liked it!
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Loving the imagery here….and the idea of words remaining. It’s a mystery isn’t it? When you see words carved into a tree and the bark growing around it. Who were these people? Their words remain but where are they?
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I think that often happens when people pass on. Hopefully our poems will last a little while. Thank you so much!
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