Aging carries with it secrets many are reluctant to tell. When one spouse begins experiencing dementia, the other often compensates by keeping it a secret as long as possible.
We saw this with my father-in-law a number of years ago. As he began to be confused at times, she would write the directions or an address on an index card for him to carry along, in case he forgot.
In one instant he came from volunteering at the local hospital and could not remember where he had parked his car. It took him two hours and some help from the staff to find it.
In time the secrets of dementia reveal themselves. At that point hard family decisions have to be made regarding the future.
Secrets of aging
Will always reveal themselves
Winter closes in…
Today at d’Verse, Merril asked us to think about secrets. They come in many forms, but none so sad as when we age. These are secrets we ususally can’t keep.
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Roth Poetry 
Good point about the secrets of aging. People try to protect those they love as long as possible.
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Yes, they really do… and understandably so.
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very true! Some secrets should never be kept either! xo
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Thank you! They eventually come to light.
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I’m beginning to see slight changes in my Dad’s abilities and thought processes. He’s going to be 83. It’s expected I suppose but sad…and scary. I won’t mention it to my sisters, not because I want it to be a secret, but because I don’t want to worry them. Not yet anyway.
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It is such a difficult thing to deal with in the early stages. There is often a lot of denial and refusal to face the facts.
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So true. Beautiful post
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Thank you very much!
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My pleasure 😊
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Sometimes the secrets of loves ageing, cannot stay hidden any longer
But we remember, we swore to each other, our love would last…..
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At the end of life it can mean some hard loving decisions.
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In the name of love ❤️💙🌏
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oh the cascade is so tender. the closing is thought provoking.
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Thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed it.
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Definitely, Roth!
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The lives of people with dementia eventual become a secret.
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They tend to withdraw so that it does not show to others.
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A form of shame.
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I would guess so. And a form of denial perhaps.
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Yes. I know I’d never admit my mind was going. I probably wouldn’t notice to begin with at least.
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:>)
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This is so true, Dwight, and so many of us have seen it in our own families. My father kept my mother’s dementia from us, always finding excuses for why she hid from visitors in the kitchen, until just before he died. You sum it up beautifully in your haiku.
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Thank you Kim. It is a sad secret for sure!
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So powerful to shine the light here, when so many people are losing neuropathways and not creating new ones. I love “winter closes in”, so poignant.
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Thank you so much for your kind comment. Yes, winter is closing in on all of us… some faster than others.
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Just as sadness comes as we age, so does wisdom. If we can keep our minds, keep our health, keep our secrets, life is good. If not…
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… I guess it won’t really matter all that much! Thanks Jan.
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This is so poignant. I can imagine people trying to keep dementia a secret, even from themselves. Thank you for sharing, Dwight.
My mom has dementia, and she has become very forgetful. Unfortunately, she also has macular degeneration, so she can’t read notes or signs.
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It is such a sad thing when our loved ones begin to lose touch. Sorry to hear about your mom. I am sure you are looking out for her well-being.
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Yes, it is. Thank you, Dwight.
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One of my biggest fears growing older, for sure. I’d never really thought of all the secrets that can come into play as well. Your haiku was an ominous but realistic ending.
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Yes for all of us the winter closes in… not always a fun scenario!
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This is a painful truth to read. My husband has dementia, though he doesn’t think he does – – or does but won’t say it aloud. It is my biggest fear.
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I am so sorry to hear that. I know it must be a difficult burden for you. I can understand why one would want to keep it hidden as long as possible, but eventually it will show itself to others.
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I don’t believe it is something you should hide. You face it, so others should do the same. Thanks, Dwight.
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Yes, the support of those around you can be a big encouragement.
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