Back in 2012, we celebrated our last Christmas with my wife’s mother. She had just been diagnosed with and inoperable brain tumor. It was a time of very deep and mixed emotions. Her father was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and in January of 2013 had to be placed in a care facility as well. As I look at this photo, I see that Mother has resigned herself to what is to come and greatly enjoyed our last Christmas together. On the other hand Dad was filled with anxiety at the anticipation of being left alone without his wife to care for him. You can see that his smile did not hold the same resignation as Mother’s. The adjustments of aging and loss are much deeper than any of us can imagine. As we complete our fiftieth year together, I often reflect on that Christmas, and on what is still to come.
Enjoying Christmas
Knowing everything will change
Winter’s mixed feelings
****
Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Also posted of Frank Tassone’s Haikai challenge…
#Haikai Challenge #118 (12/21/19): Christmas/Hanukkah #haiku #senryu #haibun #tanka #haiga #renga
Roth Poetry 
She had a beautiful look on her face, my condolences. Years ago I had a last Christmas with my mom. I took her to her last Christmas dinner at church and had her a dinner with relatives. One of the most bittersweet Christmas’ ever. Cheers
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I understand some of what you must have gone through. Celebration and grief as Siamese twins. A tough situation to deal with for sure.
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Aww
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I think Christmas time always brings the mixed emotions of joy and loss. God Bless.
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It is always to lose loved ones and Christmas seems to become our reminder of both joy and grief and loss.
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Ah yes, i can relate. Changes un our family dynamics make this season of the
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…
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…year especially difficult for many of us. Prayers for your peace, joy, and faith the Christmas. May the season speak to you of the gift that is what our Lord came to give. Beautiful, touching Haiku. Thank you.
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Thank you Jan. Those were difficult years, but neither one of them is suffering any longer. They were great examples to all.
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My condolences. When my dad passed away a few years ago, I was able to be present with him on his journey from denial to acceptance to peace as he recognized his days were coming to an end. It did nothing to stop the overwhelming power of grief that would rip through my life, but as I dealt with that grief my dad remained my hero for his journey. He would celebrate 90 on the 23rd. I honor him and am grateful that you offer this reminder of your Mom to ring the bell of awareness for my Dad.
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When these things happen, they are sometimes the ones who still teach us in the midst of the storm. Thank you so much for sharing your story as well.
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🙏🙏🙏
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Now I’m crying. Beautiful and kind of scary too hey. You are right – there is an expression of uncertainty, trepidation, loss? on his face that is somewhat heartbreaking. We just never know how things will end – would we live our lives differently if we knew in advance? Thanks for sharing this. Merry Christmas.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. There was not a lot of choice at that. Sometimes circumstances simply dictate the future. that is what happened here. She died the following September and he lived five more years.
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Good of you to share such a special memory and tribute to them.
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Thank you!
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🙏🙏🙏
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May God continue to bless you the coming year. You work is always a blessing.
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Thank You Linda! And to you as well. Keep telling your stories. They are such a great inspiration to hear.
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Life is always changing things! Wonderful that you had them both together for that last photo! Glad you have these memories! We are at that stage of life where the road ahead is shorter than the road behind!!! Blessings to you, My Friend!!
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Thank you Chuck for your kind words. You are right about the road ahead! Makes one stop and think from time to time. Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday.
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Yes, you are so right. I started doing that a few years back and starting using a mental scale to evaluate the use of my time. It helps me give up some things that were keeping me from my goals. Check out my poem The Road Behind. Thanks for the Christmas wishes. Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and Happy New Years too!
Chuck
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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❤️
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Thank you1
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Beautiful thoughts here Dwight
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Thank you so much Tara!
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Reblogged this on davidbruceblog #2.
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Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
#Haiku Happenings #2: Dwight Roth’s latest #haibun for my current #haikai challenge!
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We’ve been through this. My FIL was in bad health, but it was the MIL who passed away suddenly after a kidney failure. He survived for 15 months after that, but his behavior was impacted by loneliness. The will to live had subsided.
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I believe the will to live plays a big part in surviving after a spouse dies!
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Pingback: #Haikai Challenge #119 (12/28/19): New Year (Shinnen) #haiku #senryu #haibun #tanka #haiga #renga – Frank J. Tassone
What we fear most is not death but loneliness. I do. So touching post.
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Yes, we cry more for ourselves than for the person who is gone. The loss is such a traumatic and significant part of life/1
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We grieve for the person also who has given such a wonderful time to shape our life.
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