Nothing to Lose

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Most people experience depression at some point in their life. If you have not, count yourself to be one of the fortunate ones.  I remember how it felt years ago when depression was a part of our life.  With life spiraling out of control you feel no one cares. At that point the feeling of nothing to lose sets in.  If left unchecked it could lead to a variety of sad outcomes. With the help of some good counselors, we made it through those dark times. Finding help is so important. Without seeking help, we see people going to deadly extremes. The poem below discusses how a depressed and disillusioned person might feel.

The cry of a lost soul echoes in silence;
An inaudible scream for help unheard;
Shame fills the mind of the hurting…
Who would want to hear my tale?
Who would believe me if they did?
Pressures of the day drift across my mind;
Demands push emotions to the limit;
Voices in my head seem to call for action;
Delusions play like virtual reality before my eyes.
Defense mechanisms kick in to bring relief.
No one is aware of my pain // no one seems to care;
Those voices in my head keep calling for attention.
What can I do to quiet their incessant nagging?
Everyone is closing in on me… I can’t take it any more;
I must do something to stop them.
I have nothing to lose // the end is near;
What else can I do…

Gargoyles Photo: Dwight L. Roth

Posting this on open link night at d’Verse Poets Pub.

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33 thoughts on “Nothing to Lose

  1. When someone is closing in on you… You need to stan your ground and set boundaires.
    It’s difficult in the beginning, but they eventually will leave you alone.
    I know it’s so cliche’ to “Say feel better real soon.” But, I sincerely hope you do. I know all too well how depression staples itself onto you. Just go through the motions and allow yourself to feel it. This to shall pass.
    Prayers and Support coming your way. (((Hugs)))

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very empathetic post, Dwight. 100% agree to try not to suffer alone. If you’re depressed you may think nobody cares to hear what you have to say or can understand where you’re at, but having an ear to bear witness can make a world of difference.

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  3. A heartfelt poem on a topic I’ve had personal experience with. You captured the feelings and helplessness of depression. Fortunately my experience is long past too and I hope never to feel such despair again.

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  4. Graphically poignant… or is it poignantly graphic? Only once in my long life did I experience something akin to what you describe, when I felt at the end of my rope and running out of cope. My empathy for those who deal with depression on a daily basis!

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  5. I think most of us go through depression at some point in life. Hopefully there is someone there to be with a person who is suffering. I hurt so much when I here of those who can find no way out except to take their own lives. Many in my generation see any mental condition as a sign of weakness. May it not be so. Thank you for describing this so well.

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  6. Powerful and poignant Dwight. It captures the ultimate chill, still, absolute emptiness and devastating surrender of the condition. I can so vividly relate brother. I am so glad you sought help, and assume that you are staying vigilant to the signs, within yourself, and to the degree possible, in others who are close. Peace!

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  7. Depression can be debilitating…for the one who suffers from this illness…and for those around the person, trying to understand. This is an important write…..and yes. People can feel invisible.

    Quick edit as I am sure you would want to know…since this is a powerful read and the eye can get tripped up in a misspelling: “What can I do to quite their incessant nagging?” I think you mean quiet here?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Lillian both for your comment and your edit. Yes, I always welcome corrections. I have a tendency to turn letters around when I write!
      Depression is such a difficult illness to treat. The stigma is still there, it seems, whether we like it or not.

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