Are You Really There?

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When life begins to implode on you, it is tempting to begin questioning everything you believed. When prayers are not answered and God seems absent, it really sends you for a loop! This is what happened to me many years ago.  In time, all worked out and life got back on track. It was during this time that I wrote this poem.
My God… MY God… Why Have I Forsaken You?
“I will never leave you nor forsake you”
This promise I had learned
Then my God why am I forsaking you
Are you really there?
Is there method to all the madness
or are you just a good feeling
that comes and goes
to those who wish it so
You seem so far away
Too distant to hear my cry
Too removed to feel my pain
Answers don’t come life goes on
mixed with tragedy trouble and heartache
I have lost all hope
My life sits on the edge there’s no one here for me
No one to share the pain
Still I pray…
Are you really there?

*****************

Photo Dwight L. Roth

Today at d’Verse, HA asked to write a confessional poem that revealed something of ourselves that we may or may not normally have written. I wrote this poem many years ago when, at mid-life, I went through a time when everything in my life seemed to be falling apart!

Join us at: https://dversepoets.com

38 thoughts on “Are You Really There?

  1. I admire your ongoing conviction even in your confusion. God has never done it for me Dwight, too ethereal, lacking measurable substance and validity. What ever the master organization behind life and the universe may be I don’t feel we are really in the position to ever know. But I know what my family needs, and my fellow humans – so it is helping them wherein. I put my focus. God, the master builder, what ever he/she is, they are well equipped to take care of themselves. They do not require my recognition.just my long studied opinion. True Goodness is far better than frigned pioty.

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    • Thanks Rob! I understand very well where you are coming from. One thing my experience did was change how I view of God and “Religion”. I don’t know how anyone who looks at nature of sees a baby’s face cannot believe there is a God, a creator who brought this all about. It takes much more faith for me to believe that everything evolved from the water millions of years ago. I believe Love is the source of all good in the world. I also believe that our soul/spirit will live on after we die. I believed there is much to learn about God through religion, but when it is used to control people it is misguided. Jesus said it best, “Love God with all your heart, and your neighbor as your self!”
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and reading my posts!

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  2. Roth, Well written. I’m a former evangelical and charismatic Christian and then experimented with other flavors too. When I had my doubts they kept coming and I left Christianity. I never felt more free and whole until I left and the separation took some time. The world is bigger to me now, and I can honest love more people without the side thought that they will burn in hell forever no matter how nice they are. But their is more to religion than soteriology and magic and I can see how losing a god which is connection to community , tradition and meaning can be a deep fear when there is nothing to replace it.

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    • Thank you Sabio for your thoughtful response! “Religion” does carry with is a heavy burden if one allows that to happen. Community and fellowship is a big draw. A friend of mine who took the path you did told me, When exploring other ideas don’t just throw everything out… Keep the shore in sight!
      Thank you,
      Dwight

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      • @ Roth
        I have said the same to others leaving their own traditions. The principle in Christianity that I still embrace enthusiastically include forgiveness, generosity and agape as an ideal. But many other religion and religion-free folks support these also, I just had them packaged for me in the faith of my birth, like so many others.

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  3. I reached a low ebb in my life when my balance wheel got soundly knocked askew and I simply ran out of cope, so I identify with your poignant poem. It is good to know such times can be survived and we can grow stronger from the experience. Good write!

    Liked by 1 person

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