The week after Thanksgiving in 2012 we received news that my wife’s mother was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. She was 86 years old and after consulting with the family, made the decision not to pursue extended treatments. The doctors said she would probably not live more than a month or two. She lived until August of 2013.
Waiting in real time for what we all know is going to happen is not always easy. She made the most of her time left, celebrating Christmas with us at the care facility she moved into. Her attitude was one of peaceful resignation all the way through. Her nurses loved her and took very good care of her. She said that she had lived a full life and was ready to go.
Her time had now come
Peaceful resignation her choice
Snow falls// silent night
Photos: Dwight L. Roth
Imelda, our guest host at d’Verse, asked us to write a Haibun that talks about waiting. I am sharing a very personal time of waiting that happened to us a few years ago.
Come join us at: https://dversepoets.com
Roth Poetry 
Sorry for the loss. What a beautiful decision to not induce extra suffering to the body and making the most of the rest of her extended days. Thanks for sharing; this really touched me.
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Thank you so much. I believe she made a good choice!
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I totally agree!
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Very touching but what a good role model for all of us! Thank you for sharing!
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Thank you. She was a great example for all of us through this difficult time.
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A touching story and a wonderful Haibun, Dwight.
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Thank you Peter! I appreciate your kind words.
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Beautiful memory of your wife’s mother.
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Thank you Frank!
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🦋 Beautiful.
August will always be a sad month for me because my mum dies from complications of dementia in August 2011.
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I understand. Ruth’s father died of the same this past August!
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Interestingly, my mother’s name was Ruth.
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It’s amazing how so few words can hold so much emotion within them. A very moving story and post.
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Thank you very much. I am glad it connected with you.
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Wow, a wonderful testimony nice
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Thanks, It was a good choice!
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Your mother-in-law’s dignity was admirable. It must have been a heartbreaking time for everyone.
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It was sad, but a good parting.
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Time used well.
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sharing a very personal story tightens thus circle of humanity we inhabit. having the opportunity to chose is a great gift, and to enjoy the wait with those who love us is grace unlimited, not many have this choice. thank you Dwight.
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Thanks Gina. Yes, it was good to spend what little time she had left with her.
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that last line, i can almost hear the silence as the snow falls
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Yes it was falling all around that Christmas!
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What a wonderful tribute. Since I am 85, I quite understand her choice. Thank you for sharing this very personal time in your life.
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Thank you. It is a great example for all of us. Hopefully we can make that choice when the time comes!
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Such a poignant Christmas story.
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A beautiful tribute. I think we’d all like to go when we’re satisfied with how we spent our lives.
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Thank you Vivian. I think it does make a big difference when you can come to the end of life and feel that you have had a rewarding life.
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Absolutely!
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So sorry for your family. Glad you were able to have the extra time with her.
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Yes, it was a special time.
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Poignant and heartrending, Dwight! My condolences on you and your family’s loss.
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Thank you Frank. The time we spent during that time was very special!
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Thank you for the personal share. That waiting can be long and agonizing but kudos to your mother in law for the peaceful resignation and enjoying as much of life as can be possible. Snow falls, silent night is gorgeous profound imagery.
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Thank you Grace! I appreciate your kind comments.
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So hard a choice, but it sounds like she was ready for a peaceful passage. Her waiting over.
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Yes she knew where she was going and was ready.
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This is very sad but uplifting. It happens to us all. And it hurts all the way around. I guess peaceful resignation is all we can hope for.
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Seems to me to be the best choice. Thanks you for reading and commenting!
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Thanks for sharing this poignantly personal story…sounds like she had dignity and grace.
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Yes, she did. She knew what was ahead and was ready as she could be for it to come.
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My mother-in-law was 86 was she made the same choice. There is a gift in being companion to the dying, although bittersweet.
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I believe you are right. it is a difficult choice for all involved.
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It is.
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Thanks for sharing this poignantly personal story of a woman accepting death with dignity and grace.
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Sorry, I commented twice…I thought my first comment did not publish. Feel free to delete this!
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No problem I will take care of it! Thanks.
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Thank you for sharing this story. Sounds like your wife’s mother was a very strong woman. She chose to move on with acceptance and dignity.
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Yes she was. That seems to be the only way to go.
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it takes a lot of bravery to peacefully resign. from your words, i suppose, she is one dauntless woman. thank you for sharing!
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Yes she was very determined and live life to the full!
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That’s the spirit!
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How brave, how lucky, how admirable. I hope I can die feeling my life has been full enough to leave it. This is a lovely tribute.
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Thank you so much. You will!
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This is a beautiful tribute Dwight. How blessed you all were to know her.
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Yes that is for sure. She was a special person!
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Sorry for your loss, but glad you had some stolen time with her.
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Thank you Sara!
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I’m so very sorry. My mother passed away in September.
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Losing a parent is always a very difficult loss!
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Thank you for your comment!
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I very much like the last line of the haiku – many layers of meaning and we needn’t know them all to feel their power or grace
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
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Sorry for the loss. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. 💖💖
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Thank you for stopping by to read and comment! I am glad it connected with you!
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Personally I’m very scared of losing loved ones.
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If we can embrace the life they lived and the joy and love they brought to us it makes it better!
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Yes. Now my only wish is to be like my grandma 💖
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First off, I’m sorry for your loss. I think your haibun is a tender tribute to your mother-in-law.
Even if the subject matter here is not what we would normally call pleasant, I hope you don’t mind me saying that there was beauty and comfort in her passing. There was peace and an acceptance of what was to come. It complemented, in a way, a life well lived.
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Thank you Imelda for your kind words. Yes her ending was a compliment to her life!
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What a mindful person and also a mindful post, encouraging and powerful.
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Thank you so much for your kind words!
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You’re very welcome
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What I really reflect on his how difference it must be for the one waiting to die and for the family around… a lovely and tender haibun, where I love how you took her view and how she did the most of the time she had.
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Thank you Bjorn for your kind words. She made choices for herself all the way to the end.
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I am late to get around reading the haibuns Dwight, but I really am moved by what you’ve written! A death vigil is so hard. My belated condolences.
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Thank you Rob, I appreciate your condolences. It was in the winter of 2012&13. It is always very sad to lose one you love.
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Sometimes is not easy sharing these special moments, sometimes is really hard even accepting it and sometimes is painful just to think of it. You’ve been through a lot and she did as well!! Especially for her. Life is short is true but life can also be long if it’s spent carefully with our loved ones. Such a lucky woman to have all her family behind her and always ready to support her and loved her till the end.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. She was a beautiful soul all the way to the end.
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Snow falls/Silent night has such a profound meaning here. A lovely, tender poem, Dwight. Thank you for sharing this moment with us. Your mother in law sounds like she was a woman of courage and grace.
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Yes, she knew who she was and what was to come. Thank you for your kind words.
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Condolences and God bless your family.
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