Many years ago I went through a very difficult time in my life. Everything was turned upside down and I did not know which way to turn. Nothing helped. It was during this time that I felt like Job…lost and alone. So, like Job I questioned God. asking why I did not find help in my time of need. I, unlike Job, did not get a scathing reply, but in time things did level out and life was as good as it ever was before.
WHERE WERE YOU GOD?
WHERE WERE YOU GOD // WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST
WHEN MY LIFE COLLAPSED AND MY LIFE TURNED BLACK?
GOD // WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I EXPECTED THAT YOU CARED
WHEN I BELIEVED // I TRUSTED // AND THOUGHT YOU HEARD?
WHERE WAS THE PROMISED PEACE OF MIND…
THAT THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES I DID NOT FIND?
WHEN I WALKED THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH
I FEARED EVERY EVIL // I FELT ALL THE PAIN
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I CRIED OUT IN PAIN
WHEN I PLEADED // I BEGGED // AND CALLED YOUR NAME?
WHEN I HURT SO BAD I WISHED I COULD DIE,
WERE YOU THERE TO SEE // DID YOU HEAR MY CRY?
I COULD NOT TELL // I FELT LEFT TO FATE…
WITH NO WAY TO HELP // BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE
WOULD ALL THAT HAPPENED, HAVE HAPPENED ANYWAY
OR WERE YOU THERE // WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WHERE WERE YOU GOD, WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST?
~1995~
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Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Frank, at d’Verse asked us to write a poem about frustration, disappointment or heartbreak. Come join in with all the fun.
That reminds me of the Bee Gees song Heartbreaker that I featured. When I hear that song, I hear it as a love song to God, not to a human lover, in similar situations to the one you (or Job) are describing. The critical line in that song, “My love is stronger than the universe”, is what I imagine God saying in response.
Nice description of what it feels like to suspect God is absent. I particularly liked these two lines: “WHEN I WALKED THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH
I FEARED EVERY EVIL // I FELT ALL THE PAIN”
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Thanks Frank. It was quite painful at the time.!
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You are right Frank, it sounds like I copied the Heartbreaker song word for word! Very interesting!
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I close my eyes and picture our planet revolving alone in this vast universe and multiverse and I know there is a God. It’s like living in the eye of a storm with the energy of the universe swirling all around us. All of life is reflected in your poetry the sad times, the joyful times and the beauty that you see in this world.
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Thanks Len for your thoughtful comments!
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He is always there…He gives us the help we need at the right time.
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Our answers don’t always play out the way we wish. Thankfully his providence will see us through.
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Very raw. Man. Some of the prayers/poetry I wrote just after my son died were like this. Just so raw. I should pull them out and re-read them.. just to go back to that place within me again. It’s a good reminder of the paths we walk and how far we’ve come.
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Yes, it was a very raw time. It helps to revisit it and it helps me appreciate that life did not remain in that vulnerable spot!
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Yes! Exactly.
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Yes, it was a very raw time. It helps to revisit it and it helps me appreciate that life did not remain in that vulnerable spot! I am so sorry to hear of your son’s death.
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I love the raw vulnerability in your piece! I believe that owning our difficult times help us to survive them and to look back on them and recognize we’ve learned something from those difficult times that adds to our wisdom.
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Thanks Jo. Owning the bad with the good helps keep me from carrying it as a weight on my back.
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thank you for your heartfelt sharing Dwight, it reminds me of a time i felt this hurt and was so angry too, and a verse from Job spoke to me, and it helped me move to a better place. I am hoping it is the same for you too. I really felt a rush of emotions reading your poem today
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Thanks Gina. I appreciate you comments. They were difficult times indeed.
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I know we all have those times, but when going thru it we don’t think that. My Mother would tell us that God will only give us what we can handle, and if life was always perfect how would we learn how precious life was. He is there and guides us to finding our own solutions or appreciate the outcome. You poetry is beautiful.
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Thank you so much for your insightful comments.
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As you describe, there was a time for me when I ran out of cope. We are resilient souls. I, too, weathered the storm and found life to be fulfilling and beautiful again. Thanks for sharing. (Reminds me of something I read recently where someone was told “You aren’t strong enough to weather the storm”, to which they replied “I AM the storm”.)
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Thanks Beverly for your thoughtful comment.
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God teaches us through these tines. They makes us vulnerable, raw, real. He is there through all of it and has purpose. Job learned in the end of his trial. I have written much on him. We are much the same going between hope and despair. But hope is always there. Nice poem Dwight. And I am glad that trial ended for you.
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Thank you Mary. At that time it seems like we are the only one, but everyone goes through tough times.
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Perhaps the toughest part of tough times is when God is silent? Your heart cries in this poem are universal…thanks for sharing. Glad you came through it!
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Yes, I am glad also. Not something I want to face again.
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It’s that phrase “God works in mysterious ways” that comes to mind. Know you are not alone in this.
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Dwight, thanks for sharing your emotional response during those days when your life collapsed and turned black. I’m currently struggling with writing about such a period in my life. It’s like digging up old wounds that I thought had long healed.
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I do remember enough of the Bible to see the references… I can so understand the contradiction between a God and the pain you experienced. Glad you made your way through the dark places.
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Thanks Bjorn!
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It’s a classic, all-time question. Where were you, God? If only we could always know, “Wherever I am, God is.” We don’t need to demand God’s attention. He always has a listening ear and a ready response.
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Very Good! Thank You!
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If we pay attention, our adversities often strengthen our purpose. You probably wouldn’t be doing what you are doing now, touching so many lives as you do, had you not seen those difficult times as stepping stones. #KeepPounding! 🙂
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Thanks Kym for your wise words. You are probably right! One day at a time!
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Sending you so many blessings. Really appreciate your openness. Thank you. 💜
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Thank you. This was quite a few years ago and I am doing very well at this point.
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PS my spiritual mentor J-R says that acceptance is the first law of Spirit. I really love and use this in my life to build a solid foundation inside. Anyway maybe that helps!
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Thank you! Yes, not accepting what happens means carrying it myself.
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