The transition from living on your own to living in an Alzheimer’s care facility is a real paradigm shift. My father in law struggled greatly with the confusion of loss and change. When his wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to be placed in a care facility, it took longer for him to be placed. We took turns staying with him during that time. Not having his wife there with him and his onset of confusion created a lot of anxious moments for him. This is one example that occurred while I was sleeping in the living room.
Wandering/Wondering
“Oh, it’s you,” he said with a puzzled look
“I did not know you were here!”
This was the third time that night
“I just came out to make sure the door was locked.”
“When did you get here? ”
“We’ve been here for a week!”
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Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Mish asked us to write a Quadrille of only 44 words and use the word Puzzle as our prompt. Come join us at d’Verse~Poets Pub.
Roth Poetry 
He was blessed to have had such a supportive family ❤
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Yes, he just turned 91!
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Blessings to your father. Wish him all the best.
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Thanks you so much!
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I’ve been there. It’s heartbreaking. I wish you well.
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Thank you and so sorry for your experience as well.
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Such a heartbreaking disease. But there is so much love here. I’ve read that if you can handle it with lots of love and a good sense of humor, that helps a ton.
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It does make a difference. Thank you for your kind comments.
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So hard to witness. You demonstrate it well.
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Thank you… Yes it is difficult!
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I hope we all have that kind of support. Well done!
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Thank you so much!
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Sad they can’t be in the same facility. My friend’s parents were put in the same facility, but different rooms. Have you seen figures on how many Alzheimer’s sufferers there are now compared to 50 years ago?
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It was a difficult thing for him. He kept asking where his wife was and when she was coming back. The increase is scary. I think some of it may be in what we eat!
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Sad. I’ve wondered the same. I’ve heard it is due to cooking in aluminum but don’t know how much truth there is in that.
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I think it has more to do with genetics.
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I can imagine that transition to be puzzling. Like being in a fog. Best wishes to you and your father in law.
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Thank you Frank!
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This situation is so familiar, Dwight, my mother was the same. I hope your father-in-law settles into the new routine.
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He has settled into his setting and seems to have adjusted as well as he can.
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Sigh.. I have been there and it’s heart wrenching 😥 sending love and prayers.
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Thank you so much for caring. It is a difficult thing to witness and be a part of the decisions that have to be made.
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Seeing our parents grow old and for some of us, infirm, is so very difficult. And sometimes there is the innocence of childhood in them. This is a beautifully sensitive write.
PS: The chair in your photo….we had one exactly like it (different upholstery) and a matching 8 foot long couch – in our old Iowa home that was filled with antiques. Mission oak I believe it was called. There is modern mission oak these days….don’t know if the one pictured here is an antique?
Little prayer said this morning for your father.
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Thank you Lillian! I have found that when the brain begins to fade, the things that would really bother us don’t seem to be so prominent. Acceptance seems to be a part of the fading process.
The chair is very interesting. This shot was at the residence where his wife was staying . We were taking him back and forth for visits.
Thanks you for your great response.
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This is so poignant! You describe the confusion of a person with Alzheimer’s very well.
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Thanks Jo! It must be very difficult for them.
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I now remember with fondness when my mother was a bit confused like that… now she hardly knows who is coming to visit… the disease is terrible.
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It is so sad to see for sure!
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Poignant, Dwight, but it seems you are handling the situation well, and your father-in-law is fortunate to have you there. It’s sad he and his wife can’t be together.
It’s funny that I was writing about the problems of trying to get care for my mother yesterday. She doesn’t have dementia, but she’s getting more forgetful now at almost 96, and she has macular degeneration and can’t walk well.
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Wow! She is getting on up there. These choices are very stressful for all involved. My father in law’s situation occurred a few years back. His wife died ten months later. He is now 91 and doing fairly well. He is in Edmonton, AB and none of the family siblings live there. So we are caregivers from a great distance. He has good care and people who treat him well. We are thankful for that. He has some local church friends who have stepped in to check on things for him on our behalf.
Thanks for sharing.
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My heart goes out to you, Dwight! Your lines capture the experience so vividly!
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It happened a few years back. He is now 91 and doing fairly well under the circumstances. Thanks for your compassion Frank.
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My pleasure, Dwight! Thanks for sharing!
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It must be so difficult for all involved. One thing for sure, LOVE shines beyond anything. That is one thing the disease cannot take away.
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That is what I say when it comes to visiting. He may not remember we were there, but he really enjoys the moment while we are there.
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Noting more puzzling than mind con fusion. Happened with my mom.
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Yes!
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very well written – short but too the point.
I recognise this very well
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Thank you very much. It was very difficult to see in real time.
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