The transition from living on your own to living in an Alzheimer’s care facility is a real paradigm shift. My father in law struggled greatly with the confusion of loss and change. When his wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to be placed in a care facility, it took longer for him to be placed. We took turns staying with him during that time. Not having his wife there with him and his onset of confusion created a lot of anxious moments for him. This is one example that occurred while I was sleeping in the living room.
Wandering/Wondering
“Oh, it’s you,” he said with a puzzled look
“I did not know you were here!”
This was the third time that night
“I just came out to make sure the door was locked.”
“When did you get here? ”
“We’ve been here for a week!”
*****************************************************
Photo: Dwight L. Roth
Mish asked us to write a Quadrille of only 44 words and use the word Puzzle as our prompt. Come join us at d’Verse~Poets Pub.
He was blessed to have had such a supportive family ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, he just turned 91!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Blessings to your father. Wish him all the best.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks you so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been there. It’s heartbreaking. I wish you well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you and so sorry for your experience as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a heartbreaking disease. But there is so much love here. I’ve read that if you can handle it with lots of love and a good sense of humor, that helps a ton.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It does make a difference. Thank you for your kind comments.
LikeLike
So hard to witness. You demonstrate it well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you… Yes it is difficult!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope we all have that kind of support. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sad they can’t be in the same facility. My friend’s parents were put in the same facility, but different rooms. Have you seen figures on how many Alzheimer’s sufferers there are now compared to 50 years ago?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was a difficult thing for him. He kept asking where his wife was and when she was coming back. The increase is scary. I think some of it may be in what we eat!
LikeLike
Sad. I’ve wondered the same. I’ve heard it is due to cooking in aluminum but don’t know how much truth there is in that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it has more to do with genetics.
LikeLike
I can imagine that transition to be puzzling. Like being in a fog. Best wishes to you and your father in law.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Frank!
LikeLike
This situation is so familiar, Dwight, my mother was the same. I hope your father-in-law settles into the new routine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He has settled into his setting and seems to have adjusted as well as he can.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sigh.. I have been there and it’s heart wrenching 😥 sending love and prayers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for caring. It is a difficult thing to witness and be a part of the decisions that have to be made.
LikeLike
Seeing our parents grow old and for some of us, infirm, is so very difficult. And sometimes there is the innocence of childhood in them. This is a beautifully sensitive write.
PS: The chair in your photo….we had one exactly like it (different upholstery) and a matching 8 foot long couch – in our old Iowa home that was filled with antiques. Mission oak I believe it was called. There is modern mission oak these days….don’t know if the one pictured here is an antique?
Little prayer said this morning for your father.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Lillian! I have found that when the brain begins to fade, the things that would really bother us don’t seem to be so prominent. Acceptance seems to be a part of the fading process.
The chair is very interesting. This shot was at the residence where his wife was staying . We were taking him back and forth for visits.
Thanks you for your great response.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so poignant! You describe the confusion of a person with Alzheimer’s very well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jo! It must be very difficult for them.
LikeLike
I now remember with fondness when my mother was a bit confused like that… now she hardly knows who is coming to visit… the disease is terrible.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is so sad to see for sure!
LikeLike
Poignant, Dwight, but it seems you are handling the situation well, and your father-in-law is fortunate to have you there. It’s sad he and his wife can’t be together.
It’s funny that I was writing about the problems of trying to get care for my mother yesterday. She doesn’t have dementia, but she’s getting more forgetful now at almost 96, and she has macular degeneration and can’t walk well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! She is getting on up there. These choices are very stressful for all involved. My father in law’s situation occurred a few years back. His wife died ten months later. He is now 91 and doing fairly well. He is in Edmonton, AB and none of the family siblings live there. So we are caregivers from a great distance. He has good care and people who treat him well. We are thankful for that. He has some local church friends who have stepped in to check on things for him on our behalf.
Thanks for sharing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My heart goes out to you, Dwight! Your lines capture the experience so vividly!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It happened a few years back. He is now 91 and doing fairly well under the circumstances. Thanks for your compassion Frank.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure, Dwight! Thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It must be so difficult for all involved. One thing for sure, LOVE shines beyond anything. That is one thing the disease cannot take away.
LikeLike
That is what I say when it comes to visiting. He may not remember we were there, but he really enjoys the moment while we are there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Noting more puzzling than mind con fusion. Happened with my mom.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes!
LikeLike
very well written – short but too the point.
I recognise this very well
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much. It was very difficult to see in real time.
LikeLike