Wandering/Wondering

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The transition from living on your own to living in an Alzheimer’s  care facility is a real paradigm shift. My father in law struggled greatly with the confusion of loss and change. When his wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to be placed in a care facility, it took longer for him to be placed. We took turns staying with him during that time. Not having his wife there with him and his onset of confusion created a lot of anxious moments for him. This is one example that occurred while I was sleeping in the living room.

Wandering/Wondering

“Oh, it’s you,” he said with a puzzled look

“I did not know you were here!”

This was the third time that night

“I just came out to make sure the door was locked.”

“When did you get here? ”

“We’ve been here for a week!”

*****************************************************

Photo: Dwight L. Roth

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39 thoughts on “Wandering/Wondering

  1. Sad they can’t be in the same facility. My friend’s parents were put in the same facility, but different rooms. Have you seen figures on how many Alzheimer’s sufferers there are now compared to 50 years ago?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Seeing our parents grow old and for some of us, infirm, is so very difficult. And sometimes there is the innocence of childhood in them. This is a beautifully sensitive write.
    PS: The chair in your photo….we had one exactly like it (different upholstery) and a matching 8 foot long couch – in our old Iowa home that was filled with antiques. Mission oak I believe it was called. There is modern mission oak these days….don’t know if the one pictured here is an antique?
    Little prayer said this morning for your father.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Lillian! I have found that when the brain begins to fade, the things that would really bother us don’t seem to be so prominent. Acceptance seems to be a part of the fading process.
      The chair is very interesting. This shot was at the residence where his wife was staying . We were taking him back and forth for visits.
      Thanks you for your great response.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Poignant, Dwight, but it seems you are handling the situation well, and your father-in-law is fortunate to have you there. It’s sad he and his wife can’t be together.
    It’s funny that I was writing about the problems of trying to get care for my mother yesterday. She doesn’t have dementia, but she’s getting more forgetful now at almost 96, and she has macular degeneration and can’t walk well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow! She is getting on up there. These choices are very stressful for all involved. My father in law’s situation occurred a few years back. His wife died ten months later. He is now 91 and doing fairly well. He is in Edmonton, AB and none of the family siblings live there. So we are caregivers from a great distance. He has good care and people who treat him well. We are thankful for that. He has some local church friends who have stepped in to check on things for him on our behalf.
      Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

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